STAYING MARRIED Dont let the things that attracted you to one another be the things that drive you apart

STAYING MARRIED Dont let the things that attracted you to one another be the things that drive you apart

(PRWEB) June 20, 2004 -- I met Dave at work and our relationship became apparent to everyone almost immediately. Our love bloomed like time-lapse photography. It wasnt long before he asked me to consider moving in with him, but I held out for marriage because having a husband rather than a roommate seemed like a good idea at the time.

And it was. He was funny, easy-going, smart, respected and several years older than I. I was intelligent, ambitious, hard-driving and immature. He was my anchor, always making a joke when things got too serious, always taking things in stride and always willing to forgive and forget. I relied on his humor to help erase my fears and concerns. His easy manner wouldnt permit reproach for mistakes Id made or for the unfeeling things I said when my temper flared. Everyone said I was lucky to have him.

He loved my spaghetti, my figure, my decisiveness, my ability to state my thoughts and opinions which were often different from most, and the order Id given my life. It followed a script only an inexperienced young person knowing little about the unpredictability of life would write. Everyone said we were made for each other.

Over the years of our marriage we forged careers, had a child, made good friends, traveled and were spared many of the traumas, heartaches, losses and sorrows others suffer. I felt fortunate, but I complained anyway. "If you tell that corny joke one more time, Ill lose my mind!" "Why dont you pick the restaurant for once? Scared to take the blame if the foods no good? Go ahead, live a little!" "Youre so content! Dont you ever want something different, or bigger or better?!" "Why do I always have to be the one to make change?"

"But, I havent changed. I like things like they are," was his response whenever I complained. He hadnt changed and to me change was exactly what we needed. My complaining reached our sons ears one day when my voice rose above its usual volume. He took me aside later that morning and calmly told me the truth.

"Mom, youve got just what you need. Dads perfect for you. He puts up with you and doesnt complain. And, you put up with him, even though you do. Youre spoiled! You wouldnt put up with the things other men dish out. You talk about the relationships your girlfriends have and how you wouldnt do what they do for any man! You need to appreciate Dad more. Like when Ive see you at the window looking out at a heavy snow and how relieved you are when he pulls into the driveway. Sometimes youre in the den and hes in the living room reading and you both seem so content to occupy the same house and be there together. The sense of protection you must feel when you warn him to wear sunblock, or remind him to take his glasses. The good times that make you two smile every time you recall them." He paused. "Thats what I want. Someone who loves cares and doesnt find fault. Someone wholl be there when my jokes are corny, when Im unsteady or unsure. Someone whos in it for the long haul. Someone uncomplaining like you, Mom," he winked.

Hes so much like his father.

© 2004

About Dr. Cecile Forté...Dr. Cecile Forté is a professional member of the National Speakers Association. Dr. Forté received her doctorate from Hofstra University. She has gained national prominence through television appearances, and her keynote/featured speaker presentations and seminar sessions take her to conferences and media events across the country. A motivational speaker specializing in relationships, women's issues and performance/productivity enhancement, Dr. Forté is a corporate consultant and author of six books including Wise Woman Dont Have Hot Flashes They Have Power Surges!, A Womans Wisdom and Stolen Love under her pseudonym, D. Reid Wallace. Send inquires to Ys Woman, Inc, 1078 Route 112, Suite 179, Port Jefferson Station, New York 11777. Her website is www.mcecileforte.com.