The Empty Nest - A dream fulfilled with an anxious heart - For Melissa

(PRWEB) July 25, 2004 -- The birth of a child is the first time most of us have something important enough to risk our lives for. Children teach us selflessness, and sometimes heartbreak when things go wrong. But at least once or twice in their lives our hearts break because things go right. Acceptance to a college far from home can be--and often is--one of them. Its a time when you push your "chick" out of the nest and expect it to fly off on its own. Thats whats right about it. But whoever said, "If you love someone, let them go," cant be a parent. Doesnt that person know letting go hurts? Sending our children away means things will never be the same again. It also means we wont be there in case they need us. We wont be able to protect them. How will they manage? With what weve taught them! They take the lessons learned at home with them.

The son thats back home now is a case in point. Us Boomers get to spend more time with our grown kids these days while we help them make a life that may not be as promising as ours has been. But, I digress. At 18, our son was accepted at a university in Pennsylvania on an athletic scholarship. His Dad and I preened like peacocks as our announcement brought compliments and praise from colleagues, friends, family, people in the supermarket line, and everyone everywhere we stopped when our three car convoy made its way to the dorm room and the roommate awaiting us in Philadelphia.

I dreaded the day we left to deliver him to his coach, two weeks ahead of our friends kids who werent athletes. My only child in a blended family made this the only chance Id get to make such a trip. Before that day, I savored it, looked forward to it. No more clothes on the floor, silverware thrown away in the trash, no smelly hockey, lacrosse or football uniforms hung in the bathroom shower if I was lucky or hidden among clean laundry if I wasnt. No more loud music, loud talking friends, girls at our house all hours of the night. Who wouldnt relish the quiet, orderly freedom we once knew before our private miracle arrived?

Well, we made it to the dorm, hauled the bins of clothes, computer equipment and athletic supplies he insisted on taking along. We liked his roommate immediately; he was polite, handsome and smiled easily. From across the room, Daves eyes admonished me not to take my camera from my purse and snap some pictures when it was nearly time for his Dad and me to leave. The exact time came when all his stuff was in place and he gave us that familiar, fish-eyed look that meant TIME TO GO! As we walked to the elevators, I battled the tears kids hate their Moms to shed in front of others. Dave offered to ride down with us to the parking lot.

And then, something wonderful happened. As I moved to embrace our son, he stepped toward me, lifted me in his arms and twirled me around. When he set me back on my feet, he whispered, "Ma, maybe I didnt always listen to you, but I heard everything you said. I love you." A kiss on the cheek and he was out of my embrace. He shook his fathers hand.

We walked away from our son down the sidewalk to my car in the lot. I got in, turned on the radio like always, but I wasnt listening. I kept thinking, kids do say the darndest things.

M. Cecile Forté, Ph.D.

© 2004

About Dr. Cecile Forté...Dr. Cecile Forté is a professional member of the National Speakers Association. Dr. Forté received her doctorate from Hofstra University. She has gained national prominence through television appearances, and her keynote/featured speaker presentations and seminar sessions take her to conferences and media events across the country. A motivational speaker specializing in relationships, women's issues and performance/productivity enhancement, Dr. Forté is a corporate consultant and author of six books including Wise Woman Dont Have Hot Flashes They Have Power Surges!, A Womans Wisdom and Stolen Love under her pseudonym, D. Reid Wallace. Send inquires to Ys Woman, Inc, 1078 Route 112, Suite 179, Port Jefferson Station, New York 11776. Her website is www.mcecileforte.com.

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