Seven Ways to Cope with the Death of a Loved One

How to reduce stress and trauma when a loved one dies is important and challenging at the same time. Richard Ballo turned to journaling to help him recover after his 38-year-old wife died. Since then he has become a national expert on grief and healing after loss. Included are Rich's tried and true approaches and tips to reduce suffering and bring the surviving person back into life. Rich's personal healing journey is poignantly and vulnerably revealed in his award-winning book, Life Without Lisa.

Naples, FL (PRWEB) November 21, 2008 -- Countless studies have proven that stress causes illness, disease and even death, yet life is often filled with stress. So when stress overwhelms you, is serious disease in your future? Or is there a way to avoid illness, reduce the stress and get back to living a fulfilling life?

Of course, some stresses take a bigger toll than others. Certainly, losing a job is a high level stress; divorce is another. But perhaps the ultimate stress one can suffer is the death of a loved one. When someone you love dies, is a serious health threat inevitable for you? Could be, unless you take action.

According to the British Medical Journal, chronic job stress leads to heart disease and diabetes. It's also been proven that the loss of a spouse can be fatal for the spouse left behind. In fact, one study discovered that people rate the death of a spouse as the number one stress of a lifetime. The New England Journal of Medicine revealed that the death rate of a spouse accelerated after their other half was merely hospitalized. The risk of death associated with a spouse's hospitalization is higher for men (22%) than women (16%). Not surprisingly, the year following the death of a spouse, the death rate of the surviving spouse spikes significantly. Yet it need not be that way.

Richard Ballo is no stranger to the stress suffered when a spouse dies. When his beloved 38-year-old wife Lisa succumbed to cancer, it took every force of his will merely to get out of bed in the morning. He admits he might have just stayed in bed and "waited for the inevitable," if it weren't for his two little boys who needed him more than ever.

After the excruciating loss of his wife to cancer, Rich's life purpose became muddled; he no longer found joy or fulfillment in life. His emotional state was a constant roller coaster. Not only was he suddenly thrown into the unthinkable void associated with the death of his adored life partner, but he found himself wrestling with the death of his dreams as well.

Zombie-like, Rich went through the motions, but his heart was crushed and life had lost its joy. Following the dictates of society that men should not show emotion, Rich wept in private. But soon the urge to write down his thoughts and feelings took over and became a pivotal factor to save him. He silently turned to his notepad for comfort. Everyday he committed his emotions and experiences to paper as he navigated his new life course. Journaling gave him a "safe" place to express the "un-expressible" and to ventilate his feelings. Without this outlet, the toll on his health would have been catastrophic.

Years later his grief journal became an award winning book - Life Without Lisa: A Widowed Father's Compelling Journey Through the Rough Seas of Grief - a book that has helped countless people through the loss of a loved one.

Now, more than a decade after Lisa's death, Rich speaks to people across the country, sharing his personal story, lending an understanding ear and revealing what most helped him pull out of the deepest, darkest hole and return to a meaningful life.

Without question, journaling was the number one therapy Rich used to regain his emotional and mental health. Little by little, his own written words charted his healing process. In addition, he took advantage of bereavement counseling offered by the local hospice for both him and his boys. At hospice, he found a support system to bolster his shattered emotions, guidance to assist in his decision making and programs to help his suffering sons.

When all was said and done, Rich gained help from a number of sources and activities. Here are his top tips to return to health and happiness after losing a loved one:

1. Journal your feelings without holding back - allow yourself to vent every thought, feeling and emotion, regardless of how "good or bad" they seem to you.

2. Enlist support and help from your local hospice or bereavement group

3. Give yourself permission to take "as long as it takes "to recover

4. When able, do something for someone else. Volunteer to help others.

5. Take care of yourself by doing things that make you feel better: get regular massages, take long walks, listen to music, sleep late.

6. Do something different at holiday time; find new ways to celebrate, establish new traditions

7. Talk about your loved one to friends and family; encourage them to speak your loved one's name and share their favorite reminiscences with you

Because Rich took steps to help himself through his darkest times, he was able to avoid severe health challenges. Today he is well and happy. He sits on the board of directors at Avow Hospice of Naples (Florida), is President of the local Kiwanis club, has funded scholarships at his alma mater, Suffolk University and, in Lisa's memory, at Florida Gulf State University.

His boys have grown into strong, well-balanced, happy young men. Once again, Rich's life is full, meaningful and happy. Despite the fact that he didn't think that could ever be possible, the steps he took to help himself paid off in the most meaningful of ways.

"I encourage anyone suffering from grief to keep a journal," Rich emphasizes. "It helped me pull through and return to a happy life. I can't recommend it highly enough."

About Life without Lisa: Life without Lisa chronicles the author Rich Ballo's devastation after his wife's death, his relationship with his five and six year old sons, the depth of his despair and his eventual recovery. The book provides rare insight into the healing process and especially how a man deals with emotional wreckage. The author reveals his inner most thoughts, feelings and struggles and ends up affirming and confirming that full recovery is possible despite appearances to the contrary. The award-winning book, Life without Lisa, is available at bookstores everywhere as well as at Amazon.com, Abebooks.com and BarnesandNoble.com. You can contact Rich Ballo at RichardBallo.com.

Contact: Jill H. Lawrence, Ruby Slippers, Inc. Public Relations, jill at rubyslippersinc dot com or 239/354-0602.

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