December Dilemma Survey Dispels Myths About Interfaith Families and Holiday Celebrations

The common perception about interfaith families is that the December holidays can be challenging and unpleasant as family members struggle with identity crises, conflicting emotions and family guilt. But a just-completed survey shines new light on how interfaith families experience Hanukkah and Christmas. According to the December Dilemma Survey, released today by InterfaithFamily.com (www.interfaithfamily.com), an independent non-profit publisher and advocacy membership association, a majority actually eagerly looks forward to and enjoys the December holidays.

(PRWEB) November 16, 2004 -- The December Dilemma Survey, which fielded responses from 199 people nationwide in October, was designed to understand how people in interfaith families celebrate their own and their partners holidays and to gain insight into those celebrations. The survey respondents were self-selected, and 80 percent of the respondents who said they had children raised them as Jews, in comparison to the 33 percent reported in the National Jewish Population Survey 2000-2001. While the survey is not representative of all interfaith families, it provides important new information about interfaith families who are raising their children as Jews --- a very important demographic for Jewish continuity.

"The December Dilemma Survey is the first finding that interfaith families are dealing well with Hanukkah and Christmas," said Edmund Case, publisher, InterfaithFamily.com. "While it is gratifying to see that the vast majority of people responding to the survey indicated that they are thriving, not merely surviving, during the holidays, the insight were gaining will help others in the community. For example, we found that many Jews who participated in Christmas celebrations actually felt their own and their childrens Jewish identities strengthened by the experience, not weakened. We found that many parents used the line of reasoning that for Jews, attending a Christmas party is similar to having a good time at someone elses birthday party, it doesnt mean its your birthday --- or your holiday."

The survey found that Hanukkah is an important holiday for the respondents: 92 percent participated in Hanukkah celebrations last year, while 87 percent of respondents participated in Christmas celebrations, Contrary to popular impressions, Hanukkah is perceived as more fun than Christmas -- 82 percent said they enjoyed Hanukkah very much, while only 53 percent said they enjoyed Christmas very much. Perhaps more surprisingly, respondents reported that more children enjoyed Hanukkah very much than did Christmas (79 percent to 69 percent, respectively).

For interfaith families raising Jewish children, a primary way to resolve potential conflicts over the December holidays is to treat Hanukkah, but not Christmas, as a religious holiday. Nearly two-thirds of respondents reported that their Hanukkah celebrations were more religious than secular. In contrast, 75 percent said their Christmas celebrations were more secular than religious. As one respondent said, "We celebrate both holidays, Christmas as a secular holiday with Santa, lacking the religious aspect. We celebrate Hanukkah as the religious holiday." Another said, "Christmas is not the religious celebration people make it out to be. It has become, for our family, a chance to get together and celebrate."

"Telling the holiday story" clearly has religious implications to these respondents; while 55 percent told the Hanukkah story, only 10 percent told the Christmas story. As one respondent said, "There is a clear distinction between 'this is a holiday I celebrate because I believe in the story' and 'this is a holiday that I celebrate with Dad.'"

Some in the Jewish community are concerned with religious "syncretism," or blending of religious traditions. An important survey finding is that despite the holidays close proximity in 2003 (with the eight-day holiday of Hanukkah starting December 20, 2003), more than two-thirds of the respondents said they kept their celebrations separate, as opposed to blending them.

Although 81 percent of interfaith families stated they participated in celebrations of both holidays, some of the Jews in interfaith families reported residual discomfort. While 53 percent had Christmas trees in their homes, 26 percent of them felt more uncomfortable than comfortable with the tree.

Despite such lingering discomfort, the survey respondents readily explained that they participate in both holiday celebrations as a way of sharing in, honoring and respecting the traditions of the both sides of their family. (See verbatim comments in Survey Fact Sheet.)

A major concern in the Jewish community over intermarriage is whether the children of interfaith parents develop Jewish identities. Interestingly, many of the survey respondents wrote that celebrating Christmas actually strengthened their own and their childrens Jewish identity rather than weakened it. (See verbatim comments in Survey Fact Sheet.)

About InterfaithFamily.com

InterfaithFamily.com (www.interfaithfamily.com) is an independent non-profit publisher and advocacy membership association that works to encourage Jewish choices by interfaith families and increase acceptance of interfaith families by the Jewish community. InterfaithFamily.com publishes a bi-weekly online magazine that reaches out directly to interfaith families, delivering helpful, non-judgmental information about handling situations that arise in interfaith families. InterfaithFamily.com also produced the first-of-its-kind anthology, The Guide to Jewish Interfaith Family Life: An InterfaithFamily.com Handbook (Jewish Lights Publishing), to offer much-needed support for interfaith families seeking to explore Jewish life. InterfaithFamily.com is the only national organization that focuses exclusively on reaching out to and helping interfaith families themselves, and advocating on a grass-roots level as their "voice."

EDITORS NOTE: InterfaithFamily.com has developed Handling the December Holidays: Eight Tips from InterfaithFamily.com" that is designed to help interfaith families have a more enjoyable and meaningful holiday season. If you are interested in receiving a copy of "Handling the December Holidays," please send an email to 8tips@birnbachcom.com.

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