How to Reach a Good Kid with a Short Fuse

School or parent-oriented expert tips on how to work with quick-tempered kids. Often the temper isn’t a permanent character flaw but the result of a chemical flood in the brain. The solution to this ‘flood’ of chemicals isn’t just punishing the kid, but suggesting specific physical actions.

Scranton, PA (PRWEB) September 7, 2006 -- Perhaps Jimmy had a problem. His teachers had begun to think he was a problem.

Jimmy had gained a reputation for being a rough kid who was quick to fight. He was basically a good kid, but his temper meant he spent a lot of time in the principal’s office.

One day playing dodge ball, Jimmy got hit hard by his friend Tony. Jimmy really slammed the ball back, which caught Tony unexpected and gave him a bloody nose. Off to the principal’s office again…

Jimmy ended up with an essay on why he should control his temper. Before he started on the usual paper, he happened to talk it over with Gina, a friend of the family. Gina had been learning about flooding, which is what happens when too much adrenaline hits your brain.

Under flooding, you ‘see red’ and feel you have to react instantly. But your judgment goes bad. When you do react, it’s harsher than you intended. This isn’t because you lack common sense, but because an adrenaline overload has hijacked your brain.

Under flooding, the chemical takes charge, not you. You need to get your brain back from the chemical, so you can think and choose better.

Easily said. But how?     

Mariana Garrettson, who teaches the Conflict Unraveled Toolkit™, makes the following suggestions:

Watch your symptoms. Gina asked Jimmy how he felt when he got hit too hard in the game. “I was angry, Isaw red. I couldn’t think…I felt like I was going to explode”. Other physical symptoms of flooding are a pounding head, a racing heart, breaking out in a sweat, or fast breathing. These physical symptoms are your first clue that you’re flooding.

Use big muscle groups. Large muscle action will break up excess adrenaline. At recess a kid can run or jump to drop their adrenaline levels. In class kids can lift a heavy book bag multiple times or even try lifting up their chair as they’re sitting in it. These actions work large muscles and help clear the brain.

Slow down your breathing. Taking deep, slow breaths can help in two ways. First, it engages the big muscle under your lungs (the diaphragm). Second, it helps reverse the symptoms of fast, shallow breathing and a racing heart. It helps slow the flood.    

This was all news to Jimmy. He didn’t understand what was happening to him, and didn’t know how to do things differently. He even liked Tony. He wanted to keep him as a friend, but didn’t know how to deal with this sudden, overwhelming desire to overreact.

This time, instead of the usual “I shouldn’t lose my temper” paper, Jimmy turned in an essay on flooding. He listed his symptoms, how he felt, and what he could do differently in the future. He talked about the chemical reaction that was causing him to become someone he didn’t want to be.

This wasn’t at all what his teacher expected. She began to take a different view of this kid. And Jimmy decided the next time he got hit too hard in dodge ball, he wouldn’t aim at the other kid. He’d slam the ball at the pavement instead.

Mariana Garrettson teaches the Conflict Unraveled Toolkit™, which covers these and other techniques for dealing with conflict. She has a Master in Public Health, and specializes in injury and violence prevention. Please visit ConflictUnraveled.com for additional information.

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