Virtual Reporter Publishes His Worst Stuff

Jock Stewart publishes a new book of parody news stories collected from his satirical web log "The Morning Satirical News." Readers familiar with the real news of the past several years will quickly recognize that the material in this book could have only been created by an individual with a hopelessly twisted mind who lost track of reality during the Nixon administration.

Jefferson, GA (PRWeb) December 16, 2006 -- Jock Stewart, a hardboiled fictional reporter living in the fictional town of Junction City, TX has collected his parody news stories about political chaos and other nonsense into "Worst of Jock Stewart" released this month by Lulu.

"The book's satirical stories, about real and imagined news, poke fun at everything I had time to poke fun at during the past two years," Stewart said.

The 73 fake news stories in this 166-page trade paperback book focus on local and federal government, the polarized political climate, political correctness, and a host of other oddities that hesitant spokesmen say make life worth laughing at these days:

On big government: "A few years ago, folks were running around like chickens with their heads cut off shouting, 'God is Dead, what the hell are we going to do now?' According to the uninformed sources of the day, the solution was, 'Pray to your government like there's no tomorrow.' And that's what people did."

On Atlanta's aquarium: "Years ago, all trains to heaven and hell and every point in between passed through or originated in Atlanta. Determined to forget this history at the dawn of a new cutting-edge century, city fathers threw their nets into the great ocean of prospective tourist attractions and hauled up fish."

On mid-term elections: "Rosy Fingered Dawn broke precipitously over the towering Piksun Cliffs here today as thousands of residents from Junction City, Prairie View and other nearby towns gathered for the county's traditional pre-election Lemming Race and Social Jubilee. The lemming race dates back to the unfortunate election of Ulysses S. Grant in 1868."

According to partially informed sources who didn't have the courage to allow their real names into this story, "Jock Stewart is the alter ego of Malcolm R. Campbell, the north Georgia author of the adventure novel 'The Sun Singer.'"

Campbell, who was found eating biscuits and sawmill gravy at a Cracker Barrel restaurant at an unmarked exit along I-85 just north of the approaching Atlanta sprawl, said that confirming that he's using the Jock Stewart pseudonym would only make it harder for him to hide behind it in the future.

"Two anonymous web logs have allowed Stewart---whoever he may be---to virtually write things that most reporters would be fired for putting into a real life newspaper even if they have a good sense of humor," Campbell said.

Spokesmen at a hastily called Federal Government press conference said, on condition of being ignored less than usual, that the purported facts and opinions in "Worst of Jock Stewart" are "nothing but a bunch of hooey which the next revision of the Bill of Rights probably won't permit."

Stewart only hopes he'll have the time to get his best stuff into a book before that happens.

About Jock Stewart

Stewart is a but a small figment of somebody's warped imagination. Nonetheless, most of his parodies appeared in the "Morning Satirical News" web log at http://jockstewart.typepad.com.

About Lulu

Founded in 2002, Lulu is the world's fastest-growing print-on-demand marketplace for digital do-it-yourselfers.

About the Book

Worst of Jock Stewart is now available online at Lulu and will soon become available online at barnesandnoble, borders and amazon. The book is also available as a downloadable e-book on the Lulu web site.

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