Parents Crucial to Steering Children Into Adulthood

Mother and recognized author borrows real life stories and experiences to help parents recognize their role in the transition to adulthood of their twenty-something children.

Mount Jackson, VA (PRWEB) November 28, 2007 -- Martha Pope Gorris, mother and author of multiple inspirational publications and books, including Parenting 20-Something Kids: Recognizing Your Role as They Find Their Way wants parents to understand that maintaining healthy communication and a good relationship are pivotal

in helping their 20-something kids become mature and responsible adults.

"Our kids aren't mature adults yet, but they want to be and they're acting like they are, but they're not yet. It can take a lot of sensitivity of our part to allow them to fly without making a lot of mistakes," Gorris shared in a recent interview with Jodie Lynn on the Inside Parenting Success Show. "Our role as parents of young adults in transition is shifting and challenging. It's important to be aware of the changes we need to make."

"I was interested in this stage of parenting so I went to the bookstore and found very little," says Gorris. While listening to other parents on the difficulty of parenting twenty-something kids, along with the lack of printed material on the subject, Gorris realized the need. She gathered various experiences and stories from successful parents to help others struggling with similar parenting issues. "After talking to those parents, I decided it was time to write the book."

Gorris feels the problem is that parents continue parenting in ways that worked with their children at a younger age, but is now ineffective, leading to a breakdown in communication, such as kids rebuffing their parent's control. "…You get so used to that mode of parenting and instructing that when they get into their twenties, we're still doing that and it's not what our young adults need."

To avoid alienating a child, Gorris advises parents to resist the natural urge to control; rather help their young adults find ways to responsibly manage their own lives. "We want them to become independent citizens able to take care of themselves…and if we're controlling them, telling them what to do all the time, we're not going to have that result," warns Gorris.

Gorris urges parents to learn how to judge the health of their relationship with their 20-somethings. Parents should understand the tell-tale signs when a relationship needs improvement. "Perhaps the young adults respond with sarcasm or avoidance, or they may be hostile towards you," Gorris suggests. "I think these are important clues that there may be a problem in the relationship."

Although parents may feel they are promoting healthy communication by advising their children on every step of their lives, young adults should make decisions on their own. Gorris emphasizes the importance of parents sharing their own stories when they were that age. "It…puts a little more humanity on you as a parent instead of being an authoritarian figure," says Gorris. "It shows you're a person too and that you've had to learn and grow just like they are."

To help in communication, Gorris aims to help parents reframe their role, to modify it to a different, but no less important, place in their children's adult lives. Rather than giving direct advice, ask questions as if the child were interviewing for a job. "That helps to reframe and clarify their direction as to where they're going, what they want and keeps the focus on them instead of on you and what you think they should do," shares Gorris. She recommends routinely asking yourself: "Will these words or this action promote a healthier, stronger relationship with my young adult child?"

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By enhancing and reframing parent-child communication, Gorris hopes to strengthen the bond between parents and their twenty-something children. Helping parents change how they view their relationship with their children is integral to that. "I think allowing the freedom for someone to be who they are is very empowering," says Gorris. "The most important thing of all is to show them we love them regardless of whether they have a different viewpoint."

More about Martha Pope Gorris is available on her website at: http://www.marthapopegorris.com/

The online podcast of Gorris's interview with the Inside Parenting Success Show is available for free at: http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Martha-Gorris

About the Author:

Inside Success Radio is the most talked about Internet talk show, earning its reputation for quality interviews with the best-known experts of many fields. Each interview provides practical tips, strategies, and secrets direct from the masters.

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Inside Success Productions, LLC

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