BUSH CONSIDERS REALITY TV FORMAT AT CABINET MEETINGS

Bush has discussed with Cheney the idea of bringing ideas from the Weakest Link to the Cabinet Meetings, and dangfunny has a transcript.

DangFunny offers political humor on its website. A sample is below.

THE WEAKEST LINK: CHENEY AND BUSH
[[SCENE: Oval Office, 11 am.]]

"Hey Dick!:"

"Yes, George. You seem all pumped up. Workout?"

"Nah, I skipped today. Hey Dick, you been following what's on the TV?"

"No, I've been too busy with the Congress, world affairs, the tax cut
and
the energy cri--."

"--Well you gotta lighten up a bit. You know. You should start
letting
me do a few things."

"George, you know that wasn't what we agreed. Remember the plan we
came
up with in the ranch?"

"I know, but know I'm starting to think I could take on a few more
tasks.
I mean, its almost a hundred days know. I kinda got the hang of this
President stuff now. Give me a couple of things to be in cotrol of."

"George, remember the plan. We don't want to stray from it. I don't
think that's a good idea."

"Hmm. Good idea... But see, that's exactly what I wanna do. I wanna
be
idea man.

"Well, George, shoot."

"Like this new TV show. The weakest link. "

"Give me the run down."

"This lady she fires questions at the people. And Dick, she's mean.
Real mean"

"Mean is good."

"They do polls, and that lady is getting higher numbers than I am. If
I
we were as mean to China as she is to the people on the show, I'd be
in
this Chair for life. "

"Big Time."

"We could use her at them Cabinet meetings. I mean, these meetings
are
getting outta control, Dick. Christie Whitman keeps asking for more
environmental laws, Minetta wants more highways. Donnie Rumsfeld
wants
more missles and toys and more people to shoot at. Powell is ready to
give away Taiwan to China and probably Hawaii too.. Spencer
Abraham..he
doesnt say nothing but he jes keeps shaking and shuffling in his
chair...Everybody's going their own way, leaking to the press, and ...
I
gotta get back in charge of these things, look like a leader "

"So how does this weakest link show help us?"

"Well here's the thing. They answer questions as a team.    But if
somebody gets too many questions wrong, they vote em off. That's the
person they call the weakest link. And they're gone."

"Hmmm."

"And the whole time, she's harrassing and insulting them."

"I think I see where youre going, George"

"Now here's the plan. When we have these Cabinet meetings, I fire a
question about what were gonna do about things in the world, and the
Cabinet members can try to answer the questions. At the end of the
round,
they vote for who's the weakest link. And that weakest link is gonna
be
the person whose views most differ from my Presidential agenda. "

"The ones that differ the most from the plan we made at the ranch"

"That's right Dick, they would the 'weakest link. Goodbye.' You got to
kinda raise the pitch on your voice when you say 'goodbye' I can't
quite
do it the way the lady does. But anyway, they'd be off the Cabinet."

"The weakest link. Goodbye. I like it."

"And then we can replace em with somebody more conservat-- er --- I
mean
somebody more in line with what we got to do in this country. Maybe we
can even get Newt back in there. Or maybe even Robert Bork. "

"Big Time."