MARRIAGE IS DEAD!

Marriage is in trouble in America. Doctors and authors Linda and Robert Miles examine the state of marriage, the high divorce rate, and what today's children have to look forward to in the twenty-first century when they walk down the isle. A new marriage model is needed.

Marriage, as we have known it, is dead," say Drs. Linda and Robert Miles, marriage and family therapists. As couples enter spring wedding season, TV shows like The Bachelor and Temptation Island support fairytale thinking that will sabotage newlyweds. These so-called reality programs are cheating us and our children. As long as people search for the 'perfect other and dismiss the imperfect based on superficial checklists, the majority of married couples can only look forward to divorce and 'starter marriages ending within five years-hardly a tempting prospect.

We are struggling to sustain relationships in a fairy-tale culture. Children who see adults choosing or dismissing mates based on mythical thinking have even less chance of maintaining meaningful relationships in adulthood," Drs. Miles state. Little girls will want to grow up to be Cinderella or Snow White, and little boys will expect nothing less than supermodels when they are grown. When these two misguided belief systems marry one another, watch out!

We are programming our children for relationship failure. Nearly 60 percent of todays marriages end in divorce, and the rate for second marriages is even higher. Many couples live in dead relationships, unions that were destined to fail from the start, and fewer than ever stay together 'till death do us part.

How have relationships gotten so far off course, and what can we do to get them back on track?" ask Drs. Miles, who have counseled couples for thirty years. America needs a change of heart and a new model for marriage. Their book The New Marriage: Transcending the Happily-Ever-After Myth examines the shrinking heart of American marriage and offers realistic tools for couples. This country has seen dramatic changes over the past hundred years. At the turn of the twentieth century, life expectancy was half what it is today. Couples had little time to spend together. Todays children will need a lot more than the perfect bikini and a big bank account to create marriages that can last.