The May Report Restates Earnings Way Downward; CEO Let Go; No Web Site Updates to speak of...

Tuesday, July 25, 2002 Chicago, IL. - The May Report today announced it is restating its second quarter revenues downward by at least 273 percent, and admitted the company's CEO and its entire board of directors have been questioned, which means everyone should sell their May Report (Nasdaq: TMR) stock right away.

"This is for real," said Chad Cumeley, CFO of The May Report, who urged
investors to IMMEDIATELY SELL their May Report stock (Nasdaq: TMR) and not ask too many questions, or even any questions, about this press release. Cumley also insisted that reporters not call the company to verify this release, "out of respect, because we are all in shock and can't even think straight and will probably deny it."
    
In addition, said Cumeley, The May Report stock (Nasdaq: TMR) is for sure a
BIG-TIME SELL. "I'd put in a market order because this baby is going to
tank so fast you don't want to get stuck with worthless stock."

According to actual May Report officials, the company initially reported second quarter revenues of $1.55 and per share earnings of $0.03 cents. As a result, its stock price rose nearly 20 percent to an all-time high of $2.13. However, after a review of accounting procedures, it turns out revenues were really like $.83, and per share earnings were -$7.52, or maybe even $-11.50, so if you can sell this stock for anything over $2 you'll be lucky.

If that's not bad enough, the company also said its former CEO, Arlene Infiltrata, and its twelve-person board have been questioned and will be found guilty of rumor fraud, pending an investigation by the SCC, which will cost the company even more money, resulting in a further decrease in revenues and force the company into Chapter 7 bankruptcy.

Said SCC Commissioner Arthur Levitt, who really said this: "Frankly, we're astonished at the level of reporting at The May Report, and have to wonder why anyone would still be holding this stock after reading this far in this very authentic press release."

Levitt added that he is on vacation, and pointed out that if you call his office and someone answers the phone claiming to be Arthur Levitt and denies he ever said this, that person is an imposter because "I'm out of town, so you know it's not really me."

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