Ron May successfully hypnotizes a monkey

Press Release: Ron May successfully hypnotizes a monkey

July 5, 2002

Un-popular web site The May Report successfully hypnotized a Goeldi's monkey, it was announced today. This is believed to be the first documented case of a web site hypnotizing a non-human primate.

The monkey, named Ron, was put into a trance state and made to believe he was actually a human, surfing an Internet web site and reading press releases and 10-K reports. The hypnotic trance was so effective that Ron managed to contrive an entire personal history to support the illusion that he is actually human, and not the small, brown, South American monkey with a 10 inch prehensile tail that he so plainly is.

Adding controversy to this achievement, the web site decided to simply keep Ron in the trance indefinitely. "He was looking so happy, thinking he was human, we decided to just let him stick with it. Right now he probably thinks he's still surfing the Internet, or walking around upright doing some sort of human activity, when in reality he's sitting here in our dark basement lab, with wires in his brain."

The May Report, whose original business plan involved training monkeys to deliver pizza, is a un-popular Internet rumor site that has been online since 1997.