Child Abductions - How To Keep Your Child Safe

A former police officer offers tips to keep your children safe.

Seattle, WA -- August17, 2002 -- Despite the recent rash of news reports on child abductions, the
media tells us that rate of child kidnappings are - in fact - not up. Still, it's hard to feel secure when
night after night the news reports the latest child abduction. How do you keep your child safe?

The most important thing is to keep your child safe from likely dangers, instead of giving in to distant
fears. Although the availability heuristic (a psychological principle making the occurrence of an event
seem much more likely than it really is) skews the publics perception of child kidnappings by
strangers, it's important to know that in actuality, stranger abductions are an INCREDIBLY rare
occurrences.

After 10 years as a police officer, and after investigating 10s of kidnappings and 100s of missing
children I know:

- That a "missing" child over the age of 12 is far more likely (I'd estimate 10,000 times more likely)
to be a run-away rather than kidnapped

- A child is much more likely to be assaulted, kidnapped, or raped by a family member or family
friend than a stranger

- The vast majority of child "kidnappings" occur in custody disputes and it is far more likely that the
"kidnapper" will be a father taking the child to exert control or power over his wife/ex-wife.

Work first to keep your child safe from these far more common dangers.

How to Keep Your Child Safe From Stranger Abductions
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First, save your money on "child-ID" scams that offer to videotape, photograph or fingerprint your
child "for their safety." Most police departments and many public-service organizations offer the
same services for FREE.

Although having these details on hand is useful, know that a child's appearance changes rapidly,
particularly between the years between 1 and 12 (the years that children are most vulnerable to
stranger abduction) so that a photo or videotape taken even a year ago, may not be the best option
to rely on for your child's safety.

Further, a parent intent on keeping their child safe will pay attention to:

- Knowing where your child is, where he's supposed to be and WHAT IS HE DOING THERE. Be
home for your child if at all possible. If, not have someone who the child can be home with or a
trusted neighbor or relative that the child can call on. Having a "phone number" the child can call is
NOT as effective or safe as having someone the child can come to.

- Teach your child his home address and phone number

- Teach your child, at an early age, to be safe (Yes, the regular things everyone says to teach): the
difference between "good" touches and "bad" touch, to be aware of their surroundings, to check in
regularly and on-time.

- Know WHO your child hangs out with. Whom are his friends, where do they hang, what do they
usually do?

- Maintain an open and honest relationship with their child so they know what is actually happening
in that child's life

Dissimilar from the "standard" advice, is to NOT give a "standard" "stay away from strangers" spiel.

First, most young children do not understand the concept of "strangers" - a "nice" man "looking for
his lost puppy (child, car keys...) is not recognized as a "stranger" by 90% of pre-school age to
elementary age children.

Similarly, if an adult introduces himself (and/or says the parent sent him) the adult is no longer a
"stranger" - the child know thinks he "knows" the adult. Further go back to the statistics about the
probability of a stranger harming your child rather than a stranger - most kids are hurt by family or
friends, not "strangers."

Of course you have to decide what is best for your own family, but instead of the typical "stay away
from strangers" advice, I recommend parents facilitate a child's beginning to develop and trust their
instincts.

Encourage your child - UNDER YOUR SUPERVISION - to begin to interact with adults -
practice buying things at the store, asking for directions, etc. Rather than growing up fearing anyone
their parents haven't introduced them too, a child can and should know that the vast majority of
people out there are safe. Help your child learn to interact with others and make safe decisions
about how that interaction should take place. A child can and should learn to listen to their feelings
and ACT on them.

What To Do If Your Child Is Abducted
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In order to keep your child safe from stranger abductions you should know that the first three hours,
and after that, the first 12 hours after a stranger abductions are more important than the next weeks
worth of time.

In an actual stranger abduction, the most useful is a parent who pays attention to:

- The child's apparel. What was the child wearing THAT DAY. (You'd be amazed, I'd estimate that
less than 5% of parents can specify what a missing child was wearing - including parents of toddlers)

- Your child's birthmarks, scars, and other unique identifying characteristics that are immediately
identifiable in public

- Teaching your child WHAT to do if they are accosted: yell "This isn't my mom/dad! He's
kidnapping me!" (not just screaming and appearing to be a misbehaving child), resist being taken
somewhere else (being taken to a second location greatly increases the odds of injury of death), try
to escape if they have the opportunity, pay attention to the details of the kidnappers appearance, car
and location the child is taken to if kidnapped.

- A recent photo, preferably taking within the last 6 months (video tapes reproduce badly and are
do not produce good ID photos for police distribution.)

- Asking for an IMMEDIATE public-wide broadcast of the details and description of the
Kidnapper (also called an "Amber Alert"), as has been done in certain California towns and some
other locations through the Emergency Broadcast System (yes, the same one used for extreme
weather warnings). This type of a system allows for thousands of eyes to be looking for the child
and/or abductor at one time. It can and has proven effective.

Again, please be aware that stranger abductions are incredibly rare. Still there is no reason you can
not, nor should not, take the precautions that you can. By taking some of these steps now - talking
with your child, staying aware of who their friends are and where they hang out, and teaching your
children to develop their social confidence - you will have a positive effect on your child and your
relationship with them. Perhaps more important, by doing so you will not only help your child remain
safe I hope it will give yourself greater peace of mind.

For information: http://TotalLifeSuccess.com or
Contact: mfarmer@totallifesuccess.com
Phone: 206-674-5530

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