WHAT DO WIVES AND HUSBANDS REALLY WANT?

Marriage anthropologist J.S. Salt spoke to 1,000 wives and asked them, "If you could tell someone how to be the almost perfect husband, what would you say?" He then spoke with 1,000 husbands and asked, "If you could tell someone how to be the almost perfect wife, what would your advice be?"

"More than anything," says Salt, women need for their husbands to listen -- not to offer advice, as many men want to do, but to be there for support." Maggie, 42, writes: "Ask her how she's feeling and listen with your heart (not just your head)." And they'd really appreciate it if their husbands would open up as well. As Leslie, 51, married 30 years, says: "Share your thoughts and fears, and let me do the same."

What do men need most? Support. Alan, 29, writes: Believe in me, believe in me, believe in me." As Ed, 47, married 25 years adds: "Be my cheerleader. Believe that I have the talent to achieve my dreams, even if it takes longer than I ever imagined."

The complete results, says Salt, are published in two "small but important conversation catalysts" entitled: How to Be the Almost Perfect Husband(By Wives Who Know) and How to Be the Almost Perfect Wife (By Husbands Who Know). In addition to Support and Communication, topics include: Home and Family, Love and Affection, Support and Acceptance and Day to Day considerations as well. For example:

"The little things you do for me mean much more to me than lavish presents on special occasions." -- Lynda, 50, married 22 years

"When you give the kids vitamins, remember to give me one as well." -- David, 38, married 16 years

"When your wife seems stressed, asked her, 'What do you need from me right now?' -- Susan, 50

"Don't dwell on my mistakes all the time. Remember the good as well as the bad." -- Matt, 28, married 6 years

Both books are available at amazon.com, Barnes & Noble, and bookstores everywhere. To view selections from these books, go to: www.shakeitbooks.com