Drop and Give Me Twenty You Sorry Sack of Potatoes! A Satirical Depiction of A Serious Boot Camp Workout. By Lieutenant Colonel Bob Weinstein.
All right, so you've seen and heard this boot camp stuff on TV and heard the 'horror stories' of those who survived a military boot camp. Well, all you couch potatoes, chair born rangers and sacks of websurfing immobile matter! I'm going to show you how to whip your rearward anatomy into shape. And here's how; get up from that sofa and drop that remote; we've got some work to do. Yeah, that's right! I mean you!
I want you to get down on all fours on the floor...! No! This is not doggy obedience training! Now get down! I am going to walk you through how to do one correct push-up. Your arms are slightly wider than shoulder width, your feet together, back straight! You with those purple raggedy shorts, get your butt out of the air! I don't want to see any 'air ' humping with this exercise! I said back straight! Save that for your girlfriend, boyfriend or both! Yeah, I heard! This is South Beach. Now, bending your elbows and keeping your back straight come down to a 90-degree break in your elbows. I want to see three points almost touch the floor simultaneously ... your nose, nipples and navel. Oh, I know all you South Beachers are lovin' this one now! If these body parts happen to be sagging through wear and tear and all that junk food, pretend you are in your teens again. Hold that position! Now, bring your body back up to the starting position. I want to see 100 percent effort!
Hey 'Quiver Butt'! Is that the dying cockroach that you're doing? Your arms and legs are quivering and your body is shaking! Keep working! You don't stop until you're are ordered to!
Good work!
Susie, what's that your doing down on your knees? John, stop that snickering and get your mind out of the gutter. I'm talkin' about those knee push-ups. Fitness boot camp is an equal opportunity class. Male and female will perform the standard push-up unless you request permission to perform the modified or knee push-ups and permission is granted by your drill instructor. In case you haven't noticed. That's me!
Now, for you beginners, I want you to do five sets of push-ups, ten repetitions each with the last set done slowly. All reps will be done on my command. The command is down!" for each rep. You will count the rep. After completion of each set, you will stretch by taking first you right arm and against your chest while pushing in on your right elbow with your left hand. You will then reverse this by taking your left arm across your chest and pushing in on your left elbow with your right hand. You will hold each stretch for about 10 seconds. Next, take your right arm and hold it up above your head, then bend your elbow and place your hand behind your back and right behind your head; reach up with your left hand and push down on your right elbow. Hold that for about 10 seconds. Then reverse arms and stretch the left arm in the same manner.
This is just one 'small' aspect of boot camp. Fitness boot camp is designed to make you mentally and physically stronger, have more flexibility, agility and endurance. Every week, I will cover a different aspect. Maybe, you may be wondering why a drill instructor finds it necessary to yell at recruits; I'll cover this one for you cry babies next time.
About the trainer and author:
Born in Washington, D.C., grew up in Virginia and spent twenty years in Berlin, Germany, Bob Weinstein is retired from the Army Reserve as a Lieutenant Colonel with 30 years of service. He has been featured on television's Fox Sports Net and in the men's lifestyle magazine RAZOR. His background is unique and diverse ... military instructor, attorney, motivational speaker, wellness coach, certified corporate trainer, certified personal trainer with ACE, and fluent in German and English. He has also worked in the corporate environment in various management capacities. In furthering the fitness aspect of his military years, he started his own business "Fountain of Youth Fitness" and specializes in a military-style workout on Fort Lauderdale Beach that incorporates strength, cardio, flexibility and agility training, both personal training and group sessions. He is known as The Health Colonel and is a motivational speaker on topics of leadership, team building, sales, fitness, nutrition, health, wellness and the importance of the interrelationship of people. He is also presently writing a book on health and wellness. His mission is to help others lead healthier and happier lives. More about The Health Colonel at www.BeachBootCamp.net.
Press Releases about Bob Weinstein:
Fitness Guru and Retired Lieutenant Colonel Bob Weinstein Featured in RAZOR MAGAZINE, The Definitive Men's Lifestyle Magazine. Five Weight-Loss Tips from the Health Colonel" and "Battle of the Bulge"
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/12/prweb92819.php
Drop and Give Me Twenty You Sorry Sack of Potatoes! A Satirical Depiction of A Serious Boot Camp Workout.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/10/prweb84711.php
IS THE FAT YOU EAT KILLING YOU?
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/10/prweb84304.htm
ENEMY "SOLDIERS" ON AMERICAN SOIL!
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/8/prweb77638.php
MARATHON WALKING A GROWING TREND
Charity Programs Help Average People Achieve Remarkable Goals
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/7/prweb73187.htm
56 YEAR OLD FINDS FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH!
600 push-ups and eleven mile run on Fort Lauderdale Beach in the sand after 4 months of training with The Health Colonel.
http://www.prweb.com/releases/2003/7/prweb73122.htm
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