Hell of a gift

It's a Hell of an idea - Those who thought they already had everything can now purchase private property in Hell ... or obtain citizenship papers ... thanks to Satan Herself.

HELL - Satan Herself has set up shop online, allowing humans to go to hell, or send someone they love, all with the click of a mouse.

People have been dying to get into Hell since the beginning of time," She says. Were just making the process a little easier."

Those who thought they already had everything can now purchase a land title document listing themselves as the owner of private property in Hell -- or obtain a citizenship certificate for this infamous location.

Look at it this way," says devils advocate, Trinity, a former pastors daughter, now managing the Earth Headquarters for Hell. Most of us are already going through Hell.

This way you can point to the wall and say 'My life is Living Hell and I have the papers to prove it!

Also, who's going to push you around if you are a citizen of one of the most notorious places in existence?"

The certificates are customized with the purchasers - or a friends - name, individually burned on to paper in sizzling color, stamped with the Official Seal of Hell, and professionally packaged into a coal-black frame.

Our product makes a Hell of gift -- for Christmas or otherwise," says Satan. Plus there are no batteries required, and it lasts an eternity!

There are not many gifts you can say that about!"

To learn more or to place an order, go to www.EnterHell.com

Other deadly products will be available in 2004.