Iraq War -- Preparing Children for War

As the Iraq War continues, it's not only those children with loved ones in the Persian Gulf who will experience war anxieties," says Dr. Robert Butterworth, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based psychologist who treated adults and children who experienced psychological difficulties during the 1991 Gulf War crisis

"Parents need to get in the practice of conducting a 'child's war briefing' -- a clear, understandable explanation of the war news that occurs daily," says Butterworth, whose three-phase approach helps parents prepare their children for a possible war with Iraq. "Families of soldiers involved in an invasion should also expect to experience numerous stress reactions as a result of separation from loved ones and the realization of the dangers involved. Unfortunately, friends and relatives may be unintentionally thoughtless or not particularly helpful. What helps is bringing together those individuals who are going through the same experiences, to share feelings of loss and to offer social contact and emotional support."
Butterworth has a strategy to help parents prepare their children for a possible Gulf Crisis:

Parental Tips for Children

Find out how much a child knows about the Iraq crisis and their feelings concerning a possible war.

Explain the "who, what, where" of the conflict -- children who do not know the real facts will fantasize their own version of reality, which can create more stress than would occur by a clear and understandable explanation of the actual events.

Be alert for anxiety in children who become frightened when exposed to television coverage -- fear and anxiety can be manifested by attention-getting behavior, physical complaints, regressive symptoms and declining school performance. A child's emotional reaction often reflects an adult's response to the crisis.

Parents need to be honest about their emotions and encourage their children to discuss feelings.

Explain facts truthfully -- get into a practice of conducting a "Child's War Briefing": a clear and understandable explanation of the war situation. Parents may be hesitant to let their children watch news reports, afraid that their kids could be traumatized. "But protecting children from the reality of the Iraq situation can do more harm than good," said Butterworth.

Create a supportive environment in which children can discuss their feelings and even debate with parents their opinions concerning the possible conflict -- honesty regarding parental emotions while talking about feelings in a supportive environment is crucial.

A parent also needs to be sensitive that discussion is not inhibited if a child disagrees with an adult opinion. Exposure to differing viewpoints is healthy. A child's belief often reflects not just the family environment but relatives, friends, school and church beliefs.

War explanations need to be geared to the child's age level -- Some children may be quite sophisticated, others not. Attempt to answer all inquiries in a way that a child can comprehend. The nature of a child's inquiry will usually guide a parental response. Let the child set the pace of questioning, but don't avoid answering direct questions.

Talk about moral issues -- there are important lessons that can be brought out by war; war is serious and not fun. War can also lead to a more pessimistic view of the world and of the future for a child. Never glorify war to a child. Children should be told that war is a terrible event that may be necessary at times but never sought out.
Talking with children about how some children may stereotype all Arabs in the Middle East as the enemy is also crucial.

If a child has a parent in the Military, be alert for separation anxiety symptoms -- it's important to understand that a child may react with denial, anger, worry, or indifference to this separation. These behaviors are psychological defense strategies that tell us the child is worried about the parent and reacting emotionally to the parental separation.

The psychologist uses maps, toy tanks, soldiers and aircraft in a simulated "Desert City" to explain the Persian Gulf crisis to children.