You're Not Very Important!

Liaison Press is pleased to announce the release of "You're Not Very Important", by Douglas W. Texter. Almost-Dr. Douglas Texter takes his readers on a whirlwind tour of the practice of self-betterment throughout the ages in this biting parody of self-help literature.

Liaison Press is pleased to announce the release of You're Not Very Important, by Douglas W. Texter.

Almost-Dr. Douglas Texter takes his readers on a whirlwind tour of the practice of self-betterment throughout the ages in this biting parody of self-help literature.

He carefully explores the Big 12 myths of self-improvement, and at the same time, delivers a devastating, sardonic social and political commentary.

Chapter I. The Myth of Planning shows you how sales-rep Tiffany Johnson secures the 2000-student adoption of the outrageously expensive textbook To Market, To Market by using the techniques she learned in Ninety Seven Habits of Really Rapacious People.

Chapter II. In The Myth of Education, youll attend gym class with fourteen-year-old Winston Nebbish and learn how our education system creates and unleashes over-achievers who do incredible damage. Youll also discover the secrets behind dodge ball and the fine art of giving a wedgie.

Chapter III. The Myth of Work takes you behind the scenes at Ishmaels Caffeine Machine, Americas hottest new high-end coffee retailer. Peeking out from behind the flaps of the sweat lodge that CEO Martha Little Sympathy has built, youll witness the birth of the Moby Dick Product Line. Youll also accompany marketing guru Lisa Jones to a focus-group meeting and the strangest worker-empowerment session youll ever see.

Chapter IV. In The Myth of Mythology, youll bear witness to the way in which belief in God enables medieval pickpocket Raoul---who faces a choice between a hanging and a holy war--to find the courage to lead fifteen thousand mercenaries on the First Crusade. Our world has never been the same.

Chapter V. The Myth of Self-Actualization takes you to a meeting of "The Formula," where, along with former pot head Michael Ginley, youll learn how to GET IT, how to BE IT, and, most important of all, how to PAY FOR IT.

Chapter VI. The Myth of Creativity gives you an advance screening of Saving Private Ryans Credit Rating, the MFA project of Frederick P. Zalston. Youll accompany the members of the 241st Extraction Brigade as they fight their way through a barrage of product placements to deliver an overdue American Express bill.

Chapter VII. In The Myth of Self-Denial, youll see how your favorite vampire finds the courage to take a bite out of life (and everybody else). Young Vlad the Caresser discovers that knowing how to make a good quiche doesnt cut the mustard when youre trying to protect your homeland. This is the Dracula story that Bram Stoker didnt have the stomach to tell.

Chapter VIII. The Myth of Diversity lets you view the results of CEO J. B. Downings decision to create a truly diverse workplace. Wanting to melt down human resources into ingots of profit, Downing tells HR manager Bob De Lucca to "bring me Wobblies and bring me Wookies. Bring me all of this and more." J. B.s Worktopia initiative is diversity unlike anything youve ever seen.

Chapter IX. In The Myth of Philosophy, youll sit one cubicle over from intern Carrie Hoofsnagle as she helps the Right Thinking Institute to engage in some of the most convoluted cognition that youre likely ever to witness. Youll discover what happens when RTI applies flawless reasoning and free alcohol to the problem of getting architect and Civil War re-enactor Joseph Legucci to build the Mall of Northern Aggression.

Chapter X. The Myth of Social Activism shows you how Judge Jack Lovell embroils young dirt farmer Walter Smith in the War to End all Wars. Speeding off with Walter to Camp Xenophobia, youll see how the Great War made the world safe for the American way of life and the not-very-flattering house dresses worn by J. Edgar Hoover.

Chapter XI. The Myth of Vision returns to the dawn of time so that you can see the very first "Aha!" moment. Youll be standing by the flip chart when the planets original idea man, Oog, partners up with his cave mate of indeterminate gender, Boog, to start a mastodon-extermination company.

Chapter XII. And, finally, The Myth of Sisyphus ties together everything youve learned and sends you back to your room, exactly the place where you can do the least harm.

Note: YNVI goes on sale May 16 at various retailers. Check here for a full list.