WHO NEEDS A CURE FOR THE COMMON COLD?

In a startling example of the powers of modern science, a new beverage company started by a dude named Doc Cooley has claimed that theyve discovered a way to alleviate the curse of modern man-the HANGOVER.

Doc Cooleys FIX has blown the doors off the misconception that nothing can stop the damaging effects of rapid alcohol consumption, concocting an all-natural health drink that can nullify a hangover and replace vital nutrients that a night of partying invariably destroys. After nearly a decade of research using the assistance of several chemists and doctors, scores of testing parties" and the fact that Cooley had to sacrifice his own liver (for the sake of science"), the Fix team has hit on a formula that is truly effective. FIX is now ready to hit the streets.

The slogan? SO LOADED YOU CAN SEE IT!"

Granted, initially we were concerned our slogan might incite a massive increase in the number of reported cases of alcohol poisoning," says Doc Cooley. But the marketing gurus assure us that our prime demographic ranks drinking my ass off" highly on their list of common interests. So from that standpoint the whole ‘so loaded you can see it slogan feels tame in comparison. Were really excited."

How excited exactly? Feel my nipples," says the Doc.

So what the hell is this mysterious concoction? Not another one of those icky health-gunks that people suck down at the gym in a vain bid to be smarter/thinner/stronger? According to Cooley, nothing could be further from the truth. Alcohol is a diuretic," says the Doc, which means it causes your body to become dehydrated. When you drink a large amount, alcohol cause two toxic chemicals to be produced- acetaldehyde and malondialdehyde. This is the stuff that causes massive free radical damage to cells throughout your body. The effect is similar to radiation poisoning, and thats why your entire body feels so sickly the next day. But if you take the proper combo of antioxidants and vitamins, such as B-1, C and N-Acetyl-Cysteine, either as youre drinking or before you go to bed, theyll help neutralize the alcohol-by-products and prevent much of the cellular damage that is occurring while you sleep." And that combination of vital nutrients is only a portion of what goes into FIX."

The proof? In recent testing, a large quantity of rats were injected with enough acetaldehyde to kill 90% of them, shortly after they were injected with vitamin C, B-1, and the Amino Acid N-Acetyl-Cysteine. How many died? Not one," says the Doc, which is a damn shame, because they escaped the cage, got into the basement and now I cant get rid of the bastards."

Were not talking new age hippy theory here. Were talking hard science. FIX works.

For a sample package of FIX for your editorial team, including drinks, T-shirt and detailed product information, contact the doc at staff@fixdrink.com

Interviews available upon request.
918.599.7501
918.599.7513
WWW.FIXDRINK.COM