Love to the Highest Power: Thoughts to Remember for Valentine's Day

You can have Valentines Day just about every day of the year; all it takes a little appreciation. Appreciation doesnt just mean Be grateful for," it means to value something and be grateful for it. Its something we all do completely naturally and instinctively when we fall in love. Unfortunately, over time, our focus shifts and we pay more attention to what we dont value about our mate than what we do value. And when we dont value something, we arent grateful for it.

(PRWEB) January 28, 2004 --Valentines Day is a wonderful day, and you look forward to it. Your mate is a sweetheart, and he remembers to bring you flowers and candy. You set a nice table, park the kids with your mom, light the candles and enjoy a romantic evening with your loved one.

The next morning, you wake up and hes snoring, scruffy-cheeked against the pillow. By the time youve done last nights dishes and made coffee, hes out of the shower, dressed and completely absorbed in the morning paper. Not a shred of conversation. Youre then off to pick up the kids, drop them at school, and on to work, and you wonder, Is this all there is to love? Whatever happened to being in love? To cherishing our mate above all else, to that divine feeling of someone so incredibly special in your life? Is Valentines Day the only day of the year we can get even a momentary hint for what that was like?"

You can have Valentines Day just about every day of the year says Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., Encino, California-based therapist and co-author of "The Power of Appreciation: The Key to a Vibrant Life" (Beyond Words Publishing). "You can have that blissful feeling, you can take love to the highest power every day, all it takes a little appreciation." Nelson believes appreciation doesnt just mean "Be grateful for." Appreciation means, she says, to value something and be grateful for it. "Its something we all do completely naturally and instinctively when we fall in love. We value our lovers smile, his hand holding yours, the way he listens to us, the way he scratches his head when hes thinking. We feel grateful for his very presence in our life, and we tell him of our appreciation over and over," she says.

"Unfortunately, over time, our focus shifts," explains Nelson. "We pay more attention to what we dont value about our mate than what we do value. And when you dont value something, you arent grateful for it. So we cease to bask in his presence, and only feel the love when hes doing something we want or need. We may voice our gratitude for those things, but forget to praise him for who he is, or just for his existence in our life."

Nelson suggests we make a list of those things we value about our mate, big and small--how he makes the coffee on Sunday mornings, how he carefully tucks the kids in at night or how much he worries about doing the right thing. She says to add to the list every day and let your mate know, in words, how you value him, taking every opportunity to let him know, not just that you love him, but why.

"This takes some effort, and yes, you have to go first," cautions Nelson. "And you may find yourself doing all the valuing for a while. But its like priming a pump: The more you value and are grateful for your mate, the more you appreciate him and the more love will grow. You will have Valentines Day not just on February 14, but every day."

Nelson can be reached at www.dr.noellenelson.com.