Reaching Out To The One

Mormon singles leader Randy E. Jernigan discusses fellowshipping single adults in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

(PRWEB) January 4, 2004 --Since my conversion to The Church of jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints twenty three years ago I have come to a greater understanding of just how much our Heavenly Father cares about each one of his children. And what I have come to realize is that no matter who we are, no matter what our standing might be in society, we all have challenges, we all feel pain, and we all experience opposition. No person is exempt from from the realities of this mortal life. As the scriptures teach us, "for it must needs be, that there is opposition in all things."

     We all understand the great blessings that come to us from baptism. When we entered the waters of baptism, we moved from the world into the kingdom of God. In the kingdom of God salvation is for everyone. Black or white, rich or poor, bond or free, or whatever circumstances we may find ourselves in. And the list of circumstances may be endless. But there is one common denominator that we all share--we are all children of a loving Heavenly Father. A father who wants us--all of us--to succeed in our life's journey and return to him and enjoy his presence. We are not alone and we are all loved.

     Understanding this, we must be careful not to place labels on ourselves, or others, that would imply a condition, or place someone in a catagory that would make them feel different, set them apart, or exclude them from the main body of the church. We sometimes hear our single brothers and sisters refer to their ward as a "traditional family ward." By this they mean a ward made up largely of married men and women and children, as opposed to a singles ward. Elder Robert D. Hales pointed out, "wouldn't it be better if we all viewed ourselves as belonging to a traditional ward family," Elder Hales Explains, "a ward family made up of adults, youth and children--individual brothers and sisters--careing for and strengthening one another?" Heavenly Fathers love is not restricted to conditions or catagories.

     The Savior wants all of his children to feel that they belong. In Ephesians we read the Apostle Pauls admonition, "...ye are no more strangers and foreigners, but fellowcitizens with the saints, and of the household of God." (Ephesians 2:19)

     In the scriptures the Lord directed Ananias to seek out the one. Ananias was sent out to the street known as 'Straight' to restore the sight of Saul of Tarsus, stricken blind at the time of his conversion. Ananias responded by reminding the Lord of how much evil Saul had done to his people. Yet the Lord said to Ananias, "Go thy way, for he is a chosen vessel unto me..."
(Acts 9:15)

     Somehow we must reach the one--every single one--for they are all "chosen vessels" unto the Lord. And as we undertake to reach the one, we should remember the councel of God to Samuel, as he was sent to the house of Jesse to find the one who would reign over all of the House of Israel. The Lord said to Samuel, "Look not on his countenence, or on the height of his stature, for the Lord seeth not as a man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearence, but the Lord looketh upon the heart."

     Speaking to the single Adult members of the Church, President Herold B. Lee once said, "In your ranks are some of the noblest members of the Church--faithful, valiant, striving to live the Lord's commandments, to help build up the Kingdome on earth, and to serve their fellow man."

     When Lynne Webber moved into a new ward, the members of that ward made a sincere, concerted effort to reach out to her. Sister Webber explains, "The very first Sunday I attended church the ward members gathered around me, introducing themselves and expressing their joy that I had moved into their ward. It wasn't long before I felt like a full-fledged member of the ward, and very much at home. Our ward member's welcomes were evidence of the Christ-like love that existed in the ward."

     Yet sadly not all singles have such a wonderful experience. A close friend from California described his situation after a divorce: "I felt as if I were totally alone. Most of the ward members never found a way to get to know me as a person, and as an active member of the Church," my friend explained. "Divorce carries with it such a stigma, and even though my ward members seemed to understand that transgression was not involved in my divorce, they had a hard time equating me with them."

     Of course our responsibility to reach out goes both ways. It is important that single adult members take the initiative--get involved and develope friendships within the ward family. Commented one single man from Florida, "After I left my Young Adult Ward, it left me nervous to even imagine having to get used to a family ward. I was afraid it would be different--and hard to make new friends. But finally I got up enough nerve and went to church," said my friend. "I found out what a wonderful ward it was. I'm usually quite shy, yet I quickly made some great friends. Now I feel very much at home because I chose to get involved in every ward activity I could."

     According to the Prophets the family is the fundamental unit of our society. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints places great emphasis on the family as an essential part of its mission. Yet, while seeking to do all we can to strengthen this most important unit of the church, sometimes we may fail to consider the needs of all members of the ward family--particular those who, for whatever reason, find themselves alone without spouses or children.

     It is important to remember that ward activities are planned in such a way that they do not exclude the single member. I've found in some wards throughout the church that activities can be planned for "adults" and "ward members" rather than just couples or families. Without downplaying the great importance of marriage and families, members, especially those in teaching and leadership positions, can help single adults feel more included and welcomed by making sure talks and lessons dont regularly apply exclusively to those with spouses and children which may tend to devalue the single adult.

     And to the single ward member who may feel discouraged by the emphasis on family and married life--you may be able to alleviate your discouragement by whole-heartedly embracing this, the mission of the Church. I've seen it happen before, singles finding themselves working with other members of the ward family in an important, satisfying way, rather than working against them. No matter where we find ourselves in the scheme of things, married or single, we can work to strengthen the family as an institution. It's important that we realize that each of us is part of a family, whether we are related genetically, or by the powerful bonds of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

     The number one focus of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Savior. He stands at the very head of this church, and is the core of the gospel that we teach throughout the world. And as we keep our focus on the Savior and "come unto him," we will find great joy--even confort and rest in our belonging to his kingdom and a ward family. Jesus Christ reminds us to keep an eternal perspective about our current situations and to remind us that "all things work together for our good, if we love him."
    
Randy E. Jernigan
September 15, 2003