Helping Children With What They Hear About War From The Media

Your children are hearing the news about American soldiers abusing Iraqi prisoners. Undoubtedly, they will be confused because our armed forces are supposed to be the 'good guys. Even if you intercept the news, the media is everywhere. What children dont hear from the media, they will hear in school, from their friends, and on the street. The impact this news will have on them is enormous, frightening and traumatic. They should understand that this behavor is not appropriate.

NEW YORK (PRWEB) May 18, 2004 --Love Our Children USA offers tips for explaining what your children hear:

- Explain that most of our armed forces are the 'good guys and that the few who are committing these horrific acts of abuse are wrong and will be punished.

- Explore the age appropriateness of the news you allow your children to see. Children under the age of 8 should be completely shielded from graphic violent images - Kids 8 and under can't differentiate between fantasy violence and real horror.

- Keep the television and radio news off when kids are around and do not leave newspapers in the open

- Be on the alert about the Internet - Home pages of your Internet Service Provider could have a clip or graphic images of the beheading and other abuses.

- Create an open dialogue. Tell your kids 10 and up your version of the news. You want them to hear it from you because they will hear it from others.
   
- Share your feelings about the news you see

- Let your kids know the difference between news and reality

- Explore the facts with your child

- Acknowledge the complexity of the news

It is imperative that we do not overlook our children who are frightened and scared. Ross Ellis, Chief Executive Officer, Love Our Children USA said the traumatic impact of the war has overwhelmed our nation. No matter what our beliefs are - we must pay more attention to our children. We must be there for them, to answer questions, to show love, caring and support ... we must ease their fears".

Talk To Kids About War

Discussing war with kids is a difficult subject because your childs reaction to war will depend on their:
• Age
• Personality and Temperament
• Stage of Development

No matter what you do ... always tell your kids the truth and always reassure them. The most important thing you can do for your children is to communicate with them. Each child will have their own unique style of processing and coping. Some may experience sleep problems, nightmares, bed-wetting, anxiety, aggressive behavior, problems with schoolwork, excessive worry, baby talk, inappropriate behavior, avoidance of school or social contacts, unexplained physical complaints, etc. It is important for parents to recognize warning signs.

Nurturing and Loving Your Children - As kids cope with war and fear of terrorism, it is critical for parents to nurture their children and show them they are loved. Give them extra attention and continual support. Be there for them by being attentive and available. Hugging your children often gives them a sense of security and love.

Parents In the Armed Forces - If kids have a parent or close relative involved in the war, they may feel a greater sense of anxiety and grief, feeling lonely and abandoned.

Although its difficult for the parent at home, they should try not to show their sadness and keep the parent who is serving our country present in their childs life. Bring children to a state of normalcy as quickly as possible.

We are all going through this together and during times of tragedy, stress and overwhelm we must be there for our children. It is also essential that we do not take out our frustrations on our children. And for those kids who live in abusive homes and who are at great risk themselves, we must reach out and offer help to both parent and child.

Take your childs lead on when, what and how much to say - After you have some sense of what your child knows and how they feel, gauge your answers to their concerns. You do not need to be too detailed or comprehensive.

Dont feel that you have to have all the answers - Some aspects of this will forever remain beyond understanding. You can explain that you just dont know -- and that sometimes we will never know why some things happen. Help teach them that hate can lead to senseless abuse and cruelty. When they see you continue to be a solid and caring parent -- even when you dont have the answers - they actually feel safer. The unknown becomes a less frightening thing.

Reassure your child - Many children and -- many adults are frightened. The war has shattered our sense of safety. Your child may have fears about personal safety. Reassure your child. Your home and community are safe.

Resume normal patterns of activity at home - It is helpful to keep routines. If these events disrupt the family structure, events it can be even more disturbing for children. The sooner there is a familiar structure and predictability to your childs life, the sooner she or he will feel safe. When traumatic events disrupt a childs life, the harder it is to recover.

Your reactions will influence your childs reactions - Children find it reassuring that they are not alone in some of their emotional upset. Make sure they hear, many times, that even though it may be upsetting it is still important to share feelings and thoughts with each other.

Dont hesitate to get more advice and help - If you feel overwhelmed or if you see persisting problems with your child dont hesitate to reach out for help.

Love Our Children USA is the national leading grassroots organization that honors, respects and protects children. As a voice for children, we celebrate them and the loving relationships we should with them. Our mission is to stop the cycle that victimizes children. We do this by promoting positive changes in parenting and family attitudes, along with behaviors and prevention strategies through public education campaigns. Love Our Children USA works to empower and support children, teens, parents and families through information, resources, advocacy and online youth mentoring.

For more information, please refer to the web site at www.loveourchildrenusa.org ...or call 1.888.347.KIDS.

###