Do You Attract Temptation? The Infidelity Crisis in American Marriages

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Relationship expert and author Nancy Pina offers free marriage and relationship advice to adults struggling with individual, couple and marriage issues.

Adultery is a devastating experience in marriage. It's a headline grabbing and titillating topic, especially when public figures such as Bill Clinton reveal their infidelities. As a society, we claim to believe in marriage vows. The statistics say otherwise - according to the New York Daily News, 8 out of 10 men will be unfaithful to their spouse and almost half of women will cheat during their marriage.

As a whole, do we place trust in relationships as a convenience when it serves our purposes and an inconvenience when we desire to do something we know morally is wrong? When a spouse commits adultery, he or she reaches a breaking point of unaddressed, suppressed relationship issues with their mate. The affair is not the cause of the underlining problems in the marriage, but a catalyst to reveal those issues. The key is to understand and heal the core emotional reasons for infidelity.

Was Mr. Clinton more susceptible to infidelity because of his power, high visibility and influence? "Not necessarily so," says relationship expert and author Nancy Pina. "We are all responsible for our actions and Mr. Clinton is no exception. He found temptations because he placed himself in compromising situations, whether consciously or unconsciously. That has nothing to do with his profession," states Ms. Pina.

Ms. Pina further explains that all relationships are driven by feelings. "If a marriage is emotionally and physically fulfilling and based on a solid foundation of trust, faith, love, values, morals and friendship - neither partner will seek attention outside of the relationship," she says.

Ms. Pina goes on to say, "Open and honest communication is vital in maintaining an affair-proof marriage. The key is to address feelings of dissatisfaction in marriage as they arise, not suppressing negative issues. Many people are fearful of rocking the boat in a relationship or marriage and push feelings of discontent below the surface. By doing so, the relationship suffers from the tension that arises in other unrelated areas. By openly communicating all feelings and actively creating a sense of safety in revealing that information, many couples can avoid falling into the temptation of adultery."

In his interviews this week, Mr. Clinton encouraged people not to give up on their marriage if a spouse has cheated and credits counseling for the recovery of his marriage. Relationship expert Nancy Pina agrees. "Therapy is essential for couples to rebuild their marriage after infidelity. If both partners desire to stay together, therapy will provide recovery tools. Rebuilding trust takes time, willingness and patience." she states.

"Forgiveness is necessary for surviving infidelity," Ms. Pina explains. She points out that, "therapy provides an avenue to vent feelings of hurt, pain and betrayal. A good therapist will guide the couple in getting past the affair and truly forgive the behavior."

Nancy Pina is author of "The Right Relationship Can Happen: How To Create Relationship Success." Ms. Pina has extensive experience counseling individuals and providing guidance for relationship issues for the past 20 years.

To interview Nancy Pina regarding couples counseling, relationship issues or any other relationship or marriage related problems, call (713)840-8121, or email nancy@nancypina.com

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