Students can learn to follow goals, rather than feelings

Students go back to school thinking they will succeed, but soon in the school year find their motivation failing. This is because too many students follow their feelings, rather than sticking to their goals, resulting in them being sidetracked from achievement.

(PRWEB) August 16, 2004 -- Each new school year begins with high hopes and expectations for success and achievement, for both the parents and the students. It is a chance for renewal, because no matter how much a student has struggled in the past, this is a new opportunity.

Parents know in their hearts this will happen," explained Dr. Nick Whitehead, founder and CEO of Oxford Learning. And sometimes it does. But often, that motivation begins to erode before October. Then parents wonder what happened. Where did the motivation go?"

The difference between a successful student and one who has little motivation can be as simple as being guided by goals rather than feelings, added Dr. Whitehead.

An example would be two classmates move to a new school. In the past they were both A students in math. But the new school has higher standards and they start to fall behind," he continued. One student gets angry but instead of quitting he is motivated to try harder. He would soon master the skills, get caught up and achieve his regular grades."

The second student would think it is unfair and get angry too, stated Dr. Whitehead. But he dwells on his feelings, worried that his classmates will think he is not smart and that his parents will be disappointed. His fear and lack of confidence rob him of his motivation and he stops trying.

According to Dr. Whitehead, this is one of the most common challenges students have to face, the challenge of holding on to their goals despite a flurry of negative feelings. Like most things if life, this is a skill -- one that has to be learned.

This is one of the differences between children and adults," Dr. Whitehead said. Kids tend to act on the moment, motivated and driven by what they feel at the time. Adults are supposed to be able to contain those feelings and act on their values."

Students need to learn to hear their feelings, to respect them, but to act on their goals. That is the secret of success in school and life. When students learn to distinguish the difference between feelings and goals, they can achieve their goals. Students that have not learned to recognize the difference, always act on their feelings.

This, added Dr. Whitehead, explains why a student who truly want to do better in school, who wants higher marks and who starts in September determined to do all these things, suddenly seems to run out of gas and lose all that motivation. It can happened because of a careless or inadvertently negative remark made by a teacher or a parent, a jeering taunt by a fellow student, or just an incorrect assumption made by the student.

After this initial damage is done, the brain works against us. It looks to verify the judgment suggested by the feeling and people tend to over-react and make wild assumptions about their inadequacies. The feelings that follow are usually negative. This becomes a repetitive, subconscious conversation with ourselves, which serves to reinforce the feelings of failure. Motivation disappears.

Learning to feel and understand ones feelings without acting on them is possible, giving the student the ability to focus on the goals and stay motivated.

Dr. Nick Whitehead is the founder and CEO of Oxford Learning, a leader in the supplemental education industry for the past 20 years. Oxford Learnings research into how children learn and the needs for good learning skills make their curriculum unique in the field of after-school programs. For more information, visit www.oxfordlearning.com or call 1-888-559-2212.