'Fingered' by fathers for Justice

Fathers for Justice highlight the tragic injustice that befalls some fathers. There are, however, worrying undercurrents among the fathers for justice diaspora.

(PRWEB) August 15, 2004 -- 'Fingered by fathers for Justice

On 18th July my article, 'Why Fathers 4 Justice arent always superheroes was released on Pressbox. It expressed my concern regarding F4Js campaign for automatic, equal access to children. At the time of writing it, I had had no personal contact with F4J. Now I have.

There have been phone calls and emails from men who feel tortured by their exclusion from their childrens life. They have conveyed the tragedy of their situation movingly to me. Like most people, I can only deplore vindictive parents, of either sex, who withhold access to children where that decision is not occasioned by a profound concern for the childrens physical and emotional safety.
    
Children, undeniably, have a right to two loving parents, whether or not these parents can remain married to each other. In the real world they dont always get one, let alone two; and they will carry that suffering with them throughout their life. Children are the innocent parties who must be protected as much as possible in relationship breakdown.

Irrespective of my obvious gender loyalties, I accept that some fathers can also be victims of injustice in family breakdown. Men, too can be victims of domestic violence. Fathers 4 Justice and sympathisers have made this point to me, citing instances of horrendously abusive women whose violence renders them unfit to be mothers.
    
Sadly, there has also been the other side of the coin. I have been repeatedly labelled a 'Feminazi, and termed greedy, sick, sad, and an evil bitch. This kind of verbal aggression casts a dark shadow over Fathers 4 Justice. Are we to deduce that some fathers for justice consider this kind of language acceptable; and use it, freely, towards their family also? Are these attitudes and beliefs an indication that some of these men might, indeed, not have a constructive influence on their daughters?
    
More interesting is the apparent orchestration of the response to my piece. Only on July 29 was there a response of 4 phone calls and some 20 emails within a day.
    
First 'John called to tell me I was a 'Feminazi and womens claims of domestic violence are all fabrications. John, seemingly, embodies a fairly 'hardline attitude.
    
Then 'Mark called called to persuade me of the errors of my thinking. An urbane, educated, businessman and campaigner for F4J, whose approach was much gentler, he wouldnt give his surname. He defined F4J as 'decent, honest, hardworking men, and acknowledged that comments like Johns harmed the cause.
    
Seemingly my comments to him were soon relayed on. Before long, Dave Ellison, the International Co-ordinator of F4J, emailed saying: 'I noticed from a post on the Fathers 4 Justice forum where your article was posted, along with your phone number, that you had received some angry calls from our members. He had, he said, forwarded my article to overseas branches.
    
That evening I received a call from Tony Lewis, one of the founders of Fathers 4 Justice. He was courteous, repeatedly stating that in order to win, F4J must win the argument. He asked for the names of the men whose communications had been offensive. They would, he said, be eradicated from membership, if they were members. Some, he said, were not.    Mark had told him about the abusive communications. Mr Lewis proffered Marks surname and said he saw no reason for Mark to withhold it.
    
Meanwhile more email came, including one followed by these words:
'Dave Ellison mad-dogs@ntlworld.com wrote: A case of I know a bad man - therefore all men are bad. Letters to:
email@annie-kaszina.comttp://www.pressbox.co.uk/Detailed/15929.html
Subject: [fathers4justice] Why Fathers 4 Justice Aren't Always Superheroes
More fan mail - this time from www.pressbox.co.uk
    
Finally, I forwarded to Mr Ellison an abusive email that was clearly from an F4J member. His comment was telling: 'Like with most groups, members have their different opinions and styles and it is difficult to get all to agree on how to approach others. We do ask that members refrain from personal attacks on journalists. Does this mean that F4J members are not asked to refrain from personal attacks on other groups?
    
What did I learn from my firsthand experience of Fathers 4 Justice? First, that it is, a broad church and while some of its members and sympathisers may be reasonable, others apparently, feel their grievance sanctions abusive language and threatening attitudes. Then, that this is a highly organised group whose leaders appear anxious to project a sanitized public image.
    
F4J wage an efficient war of words. Express an opinion uncongenial to them and you will, seemingly, be 'fingered by them and the fathers for justice diaspora. My experience is, possibly, a small illustration of how they 'mobilise a dads army (to use their own words as they appear on the website) ' to apply pressure whenever they encounter opposition or a divergent viewpoint.

For further information contact Annie Kaszina at email@annie-kaszina.com

Annie Kaszina is a writer and Womens Empowerment Coach who is committed to raising awareness of the reality of domestic violence. She works with survivors of abusive relationships to help them go beyond recovery to self-discovery and has written an eBook for survivors of domestic violence to help them rebuild their life. To find out more visit: www.joyfulcoaching.com