Single Mother Harassed by Governmental Organizations That Were Created To Give Sanctuary for Abused Women and Their Children

An Oakville resident mother survived in an abusive relationship for four and a half years, until her spouse was charged with domestic violence in 1997. Seven years later, he is still harassing the single mother by calling governmental agencies with false claims of child abuse and fraud.

(PRWEB) December 24, 2004 -- It seemed to escalate between the years of 2000 to 2004. Ontario Works had been anonymously called numerous times with false reports of fraud against the mother, and the Children’s Aid Society had also been called anonymously six to seven times with bogus claims of child abuse in an attempt to defame and slander. The mother has been investigated numerous times, yet has never been convicted of any wrong doing. Both agencies continue to investigate her every time they receive the suspicious anonymous phone calls, which she alleges is her ex husband harassing her.

“My life is a nightmare. It’s amazing how an innocent occurrence that happens in your home can be blown out of proportion and converted into a grotesque indecency and a lie,” stated the Oakville mother, who is now struggling to fight back against the system. “It’s an attempt at character assassination. They suspect that it’s my ex husband calling them anonymously, I’ve even told them so, yet they will do nothing to stop him.

“Both organizations have informed me that they must investigate every anonymous phone call they receive by law. I cannot believe that this is allowed to happen to abused women. It affects our lives so horribly, and authorities merely turn the other cheek. Even though I have a court order upholding a restraining order that states my ex husband cannot harass, molest, or annoy me either directly or indirectly, it is of little use. Neither of the agencies will reveal his identity, and they allow him to continue his abusive behaviour.

“I feel very frustrated and depressed, because the phone calls reporting me with bogus allegations have been constant and never stop. C.A.S. continually puts my children through the wringer at school with intensive questioning every time they get a call. I get grilled with Gestapo type interrogation by both agencies with appalling accusations. I have also received nasty anonymous letters on two occasions which I believe were sent to me by my ex husband via mail, and it was reported to law officials.”

An officer from the local Oakville precinct was recently called to the mothers’ residence on December 17, 2005 for assistance. The police have been the most helpful in this situation. They have warned the accused to stop harassing her; however, without proof and hard evidence that it is the ex husband phoning and mailing the letters, they cannot arrest him for harassment.

“It’s obvious that he knows the system. He knows that he can do it anonymously and not get caught,” the mother explained. “Whenever you take an abuser’s power away—when you move out, or divorce—they seem to click into destruct mode. They can’t stand the fact that they have no more power over you, and so they try other methods of attack.”

It seems to be a common occurrence for abusive men to anonymously use these governmental organizations to continue their abuse against their ex wives. The women are mistreated and abandoned, and then left to rely on the same governmental structures to survive. They are generally left at the mercy of these unsympathetic organizations, because they hold the purse strings and/or authority.

When the Oakville mother was asked what she had planned to do to finally resolve her dilemma, she stated that she had exhausted all her options. “I hope to make the public aware of this injustice, and I hope that the system will be reformed to protect oppressed and abused women, not the abusers. I wish there was somebody who could remedy my situation once and for all. My children and I have been severely traumatized due the repeated false accusations hurled from my ex husband through these organizations. It’s a sad injustice that my children and I are continuously made the pawn. I am still being abused by my ex husband and remain a victim because of the laws that protect anonymous callers. I still receive the black eyes and scars on my body, though invisible, only now Ontario Works and the Children’s Aid Society are punching me for him.”

An acquaintance of the victim who herself has experienced this type of domestic abuse, and hearing her of her struggle, had this to say.

"It has been my experience, learning first hand the hard way, that men who abuse women are truly society's most pathetic cowards! How easy it is to terrorize, intimidate, or physically overpower a woman. But, put face to face with a real man, these abusers are but mere mice, and would not dare raise their fists. It is a major character flaw when a man can mentally or physically harm someone who can not fight back. And though we hear of individual cases, and may turn a blind eye, what society needs to know is that it is a problem that will eventually affect even those not directly involved.

“Young boys who watch their fathers intimidate, disrespect, or abuse their mothers... statistically end up doing the very same thing to their mothers, sisters, girlfriends, and wives. When a woman gives birth to a son, and nurtures him, cares for him, and loves him...it is very confusing for that child to see the man in his life hurt the very person who has given him life. Young boys are easily influenced by the male figure in their lives, thus, as stated earlier, usually end up becoming abusers themselves. This becomes society's problem, not just that of an individual family.

“My experience has been that these poor excuses for men usually abuse when a woman is in isolation, without a family network, or are financially dependent on the man. In the Oakville mothers case, though she has escaped the mental and physical abuse by leaving the situation, the anonymous harassment is again an example of this man feeling his loss of power in being able to control this woman, and trying other means to unleash his unresolved anger and inadequacies as a man on the mother of his children.

“It is my hope that women and women’s organizations can bring this situation in the open, to make people aware. If even one case at a time is brought to the public eye, we can let these men know that their actions are unacceptable...that we need to raise a generation of loving, responsible men...not abusers."

This article was written by Linda Oness, an accomplished writer/author who is a volunteer at the local Women’s Centre in Oakville, Ontario. Her newly released book, The Tinkerers, Journey of an Alchemist has received local and international acclaim.

www.geocities.com/lindaoness
http://www.ryze.com/go/sooty

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