(PRWEB) January 9, 2005
As most urban gay men tend to lead expensive lifestyles this usually means that at some point in our lives we opt for a flat or house share. Some of us land on our feet and never have to decipher the abbreviated ads or waste time endlessly scouring the classifieds in hope of the perfect match. The lucky few even know where we want to live Â and that means usually near work or a pulsing night life.
"I moved out when I told my parents I was gay and because were plenty of gay houseshares around and I could never afford anywhere on my own, I really suited me circumstance," explains Peter a 21-year old PR Manger from Chester. "Securing the right place certainly wasnÂt easy. A couple of guys tried it on, which was a bit tragic but then I found Stephen and things have been really great since."
For some, friendship in a gay flatshare can go that bit further, as Peter confirms. "IÂd been living here about three months when I started going out with Chris, who lives upstairs. We still keep our own rooms, although he usually ends up sleeping here, but itÂs still good to have somewhere of your own. Sharing a house you find out a lot about someone, things you wouldnÂt usually know. ItÂs nothing like you see on `Friends`. We donÂt always get on with each other, and going out with Chris has made things difficult sometimes, because we seem to end up siding against the Simon and Pete, but most of the time we get on well - thereÂs a good atmosphere, and we look out for each other."
For some there is a downside to a gay houseshare, as David testifies. "The noise can be bad sometimes - the guys come in at three or four in the morning, even in the week. It can get a bit funny when one of us brings someone back - you never quite know who youÂll find in the kitchen. And it can get a bit incestuous at times, which doesn`t make for a great home life."
Just because youÂre gay doesnÂt mean that you canÂt survive in a ÂstraightÂ houseshare - certainly in a rural area, that may be all thatÂs available.
"IÂve lived with the same group of girls for nearly two years and they are like a family. They all know IÂm gay, and itÂs never been a problem. We talk about it, and I think theyÂre all pretty curious, so itÂs certainly never made things difficult", says Joanne. "I live with people that I get on with, and I donÂt think that my sexuality has ever been issue - IÂve always been completely open with them."
But itÂs not always that easy - many are left feeling isolated and even paranoid living in a straight household. Jay lived in a houseshare for a year while at University, before moving into the halls of residence, "I spent most of the time in my room - I would go down to the kitchen when I knew no one else was home, and keep to myself as much as possible. I brought guys back, but I was always paranoid about being `found out`. I`m not sure how they would have taken it if IÂd told them, but the thought of telling five very straight guys that I`m gay was just too much - I just didnÂt have the confidence to do it."
Coming out in an otherwise straight household isnÂt always easy, however well you know you flatmates Â itÂs much like coming out to your parents when you are living at home - you never know quite how they will react. But then a gay flatshare can be equally as problematic, although you may face slightly different problems. Actually, the main issue youÂll face in any house or flatshare is bound to be privacy - get that right and you canÂt go far wrong.
Sourced by Greg Mills for Manjam.com
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