Expert Offers Suggestions for Long-distance Couples this Valentine’s Day.

Philadelphia, PA (PRWEB) February 7, 2005

Every couple faces Valentine’s Day stress: What should I get for him? What if we’ve only been dating a month? Does he love or hate surprises?

“Long-distance daters laugh in the face of these pedestrian concerns,” says Caroline Tiger, author of the new book, The Long-Distance Relationship Guide: Advice for the Geographically Challenged. “They have so much more to worry about, especially this year, since V-Day falls on a Monday: Will someone have to miss a day of work? Which one will it be? Whose job is ‘more important’? What do you do if it’s impossible to see each other that weekend?"

The Long-Distance Relationship Guide answers these kinds of questions and many more for the millions of couples who find themselves apart (yet together) this February 14th. This group includes Internet daters who started out long-distance, spouses who moved for job opportunities, college students who chose different schools from their high-school sweethearts, military spouses, and others. Here are Tiger’s top five suggestions for LDPs (long-distance partners) this Valentine’s Day:

1. Defy Hallmark and declare the 12th (or any other day you’ll be together) Valentine’s Day. The name of the game with long-distance dating is to make up your own rules. (How else would you handle the 36-hour second date?)

2. The notion of compromise comes into play much earlier in an LDR. Issue #1 is often negotiating turn-taking. Take the following factors into mind: are there dependents (either biped or quadraped)? Who has a more flexible work schedule? Whose home/locale is closer to a major transportation hub? Whose home is cleaner, and more hospitable for two?

3. If you’re apart on the 14th, make sure your LDP feels as special as all the people around her who’re abuzz about evening plans and flower deliveries. You need to bestow more creative gifts than these regular SDR couples.

4. Practice "phone intimacy." In general, keep the lines of communication wide open. Don’t just call each other once a day. Call, text message, e-mail each other several times a day to keep apprised of all the little day-to-day trivialities that shape your life. This forges the intimacy you miss by living physically apart.

5. Don’t dwell on goodbye. “The goodbye can hang over your heads for half the weekend if you let it,” says Tiger. “Don’t. In an LDR, time is precious.” Spend the afternoon or morning before she leaves with friends. Do something active, in a group or with a few others, to keep your minds off of that moment. Treat it like it’s a Band-Aid that needs to ripped off…quickly!

About the author: Caroline Tiger writes for Self, Ms., Salon, and Philadelphia Magazine. Her last book was How To Behave: A Guide to Modern Manners for the Socially Challenged, also from Quirk Books. She lives in Philadelphia—and online, at http://www.carolinetiger.com.

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