Wives with Cheating Husbands Can Gain the Upper Hand

Infidelity expert tells wives with cheating husbands how to work quietly behind the scenes to gain the upper hand and make the best of a bad situation.

(PRWEB) February 22, 2005 -- Most wives with cheating husbands simply suffer in silence or tolerate their husbands infidelity". says Ruth Houston, infidelity expert and author of Is He Cheating on You? -- 829 Telltale Signs. They feel they have no other alternatives, or dont know what else to do."

You dont have to sit back and be a helpless victim," says Houston, whose website www.InfidelityAdvice.com provides practical advice for victims of infidelity. There are things you can do to make the best of a bad situation and minimize the damage infidelity can cause."

Houston urges wives with cheating husbands to take steps to protect themselves emotionally, sexually, legally and financially. She counsels them to work quietly behind the scenes to offset many of the negative consequences that result from infidelity."

Take control of the situation," advises Houston. Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, the guidelines below will help you gain the upper hand."

Make sure infidelity is the problem youre dealing with.
Problems like drug or alcohol addiction or gambling often masquerade as infidelity because of similar telltale signs. Dont speculate, investigate. If you need to get solid proof of infidelity without spending a lot of time or money, a book like Is He Cheating on You? (Lifestyle Publilcations $29.95, ISBN 0-9720553-4-7) which lists practically every known sign of infidelity will help you find out for sure.

Face reality.
Ignoring your husbands infidelity will not make it go away. It will only make things worse. He could become so attached to his mistress that it will be impossible to get your marriage back on track.

Speak up and take a stand.
If you know hes cheating and say nothing about it, you're enabling his infidelity. Make it clear that you disapprove of what's going on and tell him you want it to stop. Not addressing his infidelity makes him think he has your silent approval or that you dont know whats going on.

Let him know you know.
Affairs thrive in secrecy. If youve identified numerous telltale signs and have solid proof of your husbands infidelity, decide when and how to tell him you know about his affair. Sometimes just knowing his infidelity has been exposed will be enough to make him stop.

Build a support team.
You need someone to confide in about your husbands infidelity. Dont try to get through this alone. Surround yourself with people who care about you and have your best interests at heart.

Realistically evaluate your situation.
Consider your options. Is your marriage worth saving? Should you get a temporary separation? File for divorce? What is it in your (and your childrens) best interest to do?

Seek counseling for yourself and for your marriage.
You have a better chance of saving your marriage if you get professional help. Youll be better equipped to deal with the trauma of infidelity if you seek individual counseling, as well.

Identify the underlying issues.
Try to pinpoint the contributing factors to his infidelity - A life crisis? Major character flaws? Sexual addiction? Dissatisfaction with you or with the marriage? Or something else? Get to the root of the problem, if you can.

Protect yourself sexually.
Your husbands infidelity can have life-threatening consequences for you. If hes cheating, your health is at risk. Youre already a victim of infidelity. Dont become a victim of HIV/AIDS too.

Find out your legal rights.
Consult an attorney who specializes in matrimonial law. Get a clear understanding of what you're legally entitled to (alimony, child support, division of marital assets) in the event of a divorce or separation.

Put your financial house in order.
Get a realistic view of your current financial situation and make the necessary adjustments. Establish credit in your own name. Set up a separate checking or savings account. Start putting money aside for a rainy day.

Make sure youre equipped to earn a living.
Many women remain in adulterous relationships because theyre financially dependant on their husbands. If you need to, take college courses or start learning a trade to make yourself employable.

Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally.
Accept the possibility that your marriage may end. Dont be caught off guard. Have an Infidelity Game Plan" in place in case your husband decides to move out or ask for a divorce. Begin formulating your strategy now.

Break free of the bonds of infidelity. Focus your energy and efforts on the positive things you can do to make the best of a bad situation. Empower yourself by acting on these suggestions and youll gain the upper hand.

To receive a FREE Special Report entitled 5 Things You Shouldnt Do If Hes Cheating on You", send an e-mail to: InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com (InfidelityAdvice at gmail.com) with "5 Things" in the subject line.

© Copyright 2005 Ruth Houston. All rights reserved.

About the Author
Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs, a comprehensive guide which documents practically every known sign of infidelity. She has been quoted in the New York Times, the Toronto Sun, the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, the Christian Science Monitor, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Marie Claire and numerous other publications here and abroad. Ruth has also been a guest on Good Day New York, TalkAmerica, Telemundo, BBC, The Breakfast Club, Caracol Radio Network, ClearChannel Network, the Mike Gallagher Show, and 1010WINS and over 100 radio and TV talk shows in the US, Europe, South America, and the Caribbean.

In addition to writing about infidelity, Ruth also conducts seminars on infidelity and does 1-on-1 infidelity consultations by e-mail, private chat (IM) or by phone. To schedule an individual infidelity consultation with Ruth Houston, or to request information on fees or consultation times, send an email to InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com (InfidelityAdvice at gmail.com)with consultation" in the subject line. For more information on infidelity, visit http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com

MEDIA:
To interview Ruth Houston, please call 718 592-6039 or email Ruth at InfidelityExpert@gmail.com (InfidelityExpert at gmail.com) For more information on infidelity, visit the PRESS ROOM at http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com

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