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Revenge of the Sick
In an effort to be one step ahead of the deluge of reviews and to give readers a fresh perspective on a tired tale, I decided to get some inside information from the Master Jedi Yoda himself. This effort entailed that I vanish from sight for some time to build up the force within me. Through the use of the force that dwells within me, I managed to contact Yoda, Jedi master extraordinaire - Luke Sta. Maria
(PRWEB) June 16, 2005 -- Whos Who
Ewan McGregor (Obi-Wan Kenobi) Natalie Portman (Padme) Hayden Christensen (Anakin Skywalker) Ian McDiarmid (Chancellor Palpatine) Samuel L Jackson (Mace Windu) Jimmy Smits (Senator Bail Organa) Frank Oz (voice of Yoda)
Whats going on
I happened to bump into an old chum of mine, Lars Benedict movie buff extraordinaire, at my regular tea stall by the big monsoon drain in the shadow of the twin towers. An intriguing tale he had. Read it you should.
Title: Star Wars Episode III --
Revenge of the Sith
Director: George Lucas
Running Time: 140 minutes
Language: English
Lars tale:
In an effort to be one step ahead of the deluge of reviews and to give readers a fresh perspective on a tired tale, I decided to get some inside information from the Master Jedi Yoda himself. This effort entailed that I vanish from sight for some time to build up the force within me.
Through the use of the force that dwells within me, I managed to contact Yoda, Jedi master extraordinaire. Yes, I know he died in the second trilogy but then his force does live on, you see. Besides if George Lucas can use the force to go back in time and tell a story from the middle and end in the middle, I certainly can use my newly developed powers to track down a little green CGI Jedi who used to be a puppet!
Anyway the bad news is that Yoda with all his awesome powers had failed to sense the great potential in the kiss-and-tell media arena and had unwittingly used his claws to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Hence, he could not even convey his story through mind downloads.
Not to be defeated, I managed to track down his twin brother, Soda, who was given away at birth. Nifty thing, this force! Below are excerpts of the interview.
Lars Benedict (LB): Master Soda, tell us a bit about yourself. Im sure the readers would like to know why you were left out of the plot of both trilogies and have not surfaced until now.
Master Soda (MS): A scandal, I sense. Look alike we do not, Yoda and I. Very green Yoda is. Small I too am, but move about on wheels. Beep and whistle some times I do.
LB: I hope you dont find me rude, but you do resemble a R2 unit.
MS: Ahhh! Observant you are. Hence scandal I have alluded to. Mother and R2 unit some hanky panky they do have. Sense it I do. Now all know why not mentioned in story I was. Hush! About me enough. The movie lets consider.
LB: Would you be so kind as to tell those who have been living in a cave on a galaxy even further away about the plot?
MS: Chronicles fall of Anakin Skywalker this episode does. Hence shows the rise of Darth Vader does it not? How Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia are separated also told. Thrown in also lots of political mish-mash, think I. A comment on modern day events, analyze some. George Lucas too lazy to think up complicated plot so just draw on American politics, sense I. Too much time spent on visual effects he does. Forgets to build characters does he.
LB: And what did you think about the movie?
MS Profound it is hardly. Holes many it has. Those holes in plot laser guns may have caused! Hahaha!
LB: I see. You are the comedian of the family. Tell us more about the holes, master.
MS: Bitter I am not. Reviewer must note. But honest must I be. Some things make sense not.
LB: For example?
MS General Grievous smash space craft window and escape, scene is. Anakin and Obi-Wan sucked out not or crushed by decompression they not? Hmmm, some hoodwinking, I sense in the force. Also that exciting light saber duel near the molten crust. Hot it is yet singe they are not.
LB: Maybe they used the force
MS: Ahhhh! So! Then why the force they not use to uncover plot to kill all Jedi?
LB: Hmmm, good point Master Soda. What did you think of the visuals effects?
MS: Effects spectacular they were. Very exciting light saber fights were.
LB: Which was your favourite character?
MS: Acting superb Yoda did. But then bias I am. (sniggers). Interesting Darth Vader was. Lord Vader intriguing villain makes, Soda still believe. General Grievous only there to show that technology already exist to rebuild broken bodies, Soda feels. Lucas pretty smart he is. Linking all six stories with episode III he does.
LB: I personally found the Padme/ Anakin affair rather flat. What did you think master?
MS: Padme rather helpless she was. In previous episodes unlike this she was. Feisty and resourceful there she was. Now become mushy teenager in love she does. Computer used to create movie, told we are. Otherwise, Soda thinks. Characters from cardboard made...hahaha!
LB: Isnt that a bit on the insulting side of the force?
MS: Applies only to silly earthlings who dress up like movie characters it does! (sniggers beeps and whistles incoherently)
LB: Ahem! So I see. More space humour ... or perhaps force-d humour!
MS: Find it funny you do not? Take too seriously some things humans do.
LB: Okaaay! I see were running a bit wild here so now would be a good time to end this interview. But before that, do you have any parting wisdom for those weak in the force master?
MS: Hmmm! See this movie people should. Wait twenty-eight years and have no closure sad it would be. Intriguing it is, this movie. The vital link about Darth Vader it does illustrate. Feast for the eyes it is, even though the costumes and sets are less exciting than other episodes they are.
LB: Thank you, Master Soda.
MS: May the force with you be. Remember Lars, if on the dark side should you find yourself, switch look for immediately. Turn on light you should.... Ooouuummmm!
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