September is National Alcohol and Drug Recovery Month: Author and Therapist Szifra Birke Says Growing Up With an Alcoholic Parent May Help Create Superstars in Business

Szifra Birke has worked with hundreds of adults who grew up with an alcoholic parent. She continues to be impressed with both the distinctiveness of each person, as well as the surprisingly common traits among them. Her work in the last decade has focused on the high performers who excelled despite, or maybe because of, the extreme challenges of growing up with a parent who was alcoholic or otherwise addicted.

Chelmsford, MA (PRWEB) September 7, 2005 -- Most people know that alcoholism rots your liver and wreaks havoc on relationships. Whats less obvious is what it does to the children-even the high achievers among us.

When we think of children with alcoholic or addicted parents, we conjure up kids with problems or kids acting out. Whats surprising is how many of the all A students, class presidents, captains and MVPs of the teams, kids with the paper routes who everyone says are so polite, mature, and responsible-the looking good" kids-are from alcoholic or other very high stress families," says author and family therapist Szifra Birke.

In the newly released edition of her book Together We Heal: A Real-Life Portrait of Recovery in Group Therapy, she outlines the unconscious motivations these children have to be so good, to do everything right. She says," Children are magical thinkers, believing they have the power to cause the problems in the family-and to cure them. These kids feel responsible for the family pain and believe that by doing really well, they can make things right at home."

Birke points out the strategies they used to make it through their childhoods-and the resulting strengths and deficits. They find a way to put the shame and secret of alcoholism in the family behind them each day and function past the distress. A whatever it takes" credo is being honed to perfection. They work longer and harder than anyone around them, no matter what the personal cost. Later, this ability to perform despite the distress they feel around or inside them makes them super performers in the workplace," she says.

These are the people others envy: They have great jobs, drive beautiful cars, live in gorgeous homes, travel to exotic places, and wear expensive clothing and jewelry. To the untrained eye, theyve made it. Early in their adulthoods, even they believe theyve escaped the legacy of their troubled families," says Birke.

But the stories they tell Birke belie their outward success. They tell her about the worthlessness they feel, the fear of being found out" and how they know they have every reason to be happy, but arent. They talk about failed relationships and not being able to enjoy their own successes. She says, They have everything they want-except peace of mind."

Though it generally takes a crisis for these people to seek therapy with Birke, once they cross the threshold, they are sold. Most are shocked to discover how much lighter they feel after talking about what is going on in their lives. In fact, they often ask for more frequent or extended sessions. Early on, it surprised me when these men and women asked for an extra session that week. Or 'Could we go longer? I just get warmed up and its time to stop." At their request, Birke now conducts meetings with some clients for an hour and a half or two hours.

In honor of National Recovery Week, Birke is donating September royalties and profits from the newly released second edition of her book Together We Heal: A Real-Life Portrait of Recovery in Group Therapy to the National Association of Children of Alcoholics (NACOA).

For additional information about her book or growing up in a family with alcoholism, contact Szifra Birke or go to www.szifrabirke.com.

Contact:
Szifra Birke
Birke Consulting
978-446-9600
http://www.szifrabirke.com

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