Move Over Twain, Faulkner; The South has Done it Again

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Why is Homeland Security concerned about horses? In 'That's No Miracle...Nettles, Thistles, Humor, and Stories by a Scotch American', R.K. Ferguson provides comic relief in the story 'Hay Would Eat It' for those who are overly security minded... or sends them over the edge.

God's creativity is unlimited, his imagination flys in all directions; we are created in his image, why shouldn't our imagination be in midst of a flying leap?

Whether the author illuminates an issue or idea with humor or seriousness, he engages the reader in their own thought provoking quest for answers...and questions...by leaping out the box. As Mr. Ferguson states, "God's creativity is unlimited, his imagination flys in all directions; we are created in his image, why shouldn't our imagination be in midst of a flying leap?"

What if the Wright brothers had been determined to not only conquer the air, but space? What would be inscribed on the new states quarters now? Find out in the story 'Sun Roof'.

Should we forgive Judas? Mr. Ferguson explores forgiveness and its importance to Jesus and ultimately to every person inhabiting our world in 'Forgiveness'.

What could playing right field as a youngster possibly have to do with surviving an ill-fated North Pole expedition? 'Way, Way Out in Right Field' will have you trotting back out on the field again...at least in your imagination.

An excerpt from 'Way, Way Out in Right Field': Here comes the fly ball. You are supposed to put your head, and mind you, it is the part of your head with your face on it, right where the ball should theoretically hit. Then you are supposed to put up your hand enclosed in a little leather and padding and catch said ball before severe cranial damage occurs. The percentages for keeping that high IQ intact do not look good to people who become right fielders and appearing clumsy and club handed assures them they will be positioned where the ball has a low probability of being hit.

Is a simple phrase said in almost all languages and religions helping or hindering the healing of our world?

Need a new research project to apply for a government funded grant? 'AC' may be the ticket.

Is there something worse than fingernails screeching across a blackboard? Mr. Ferguson assures us there is.

'Penny Wise, Dollar Foolish' - While millions or billions of dollars may be siphoned off by sleight-of-hand corporate accounting...bank tellers and clerks are held accountable to balance to the penny every day, bless their souls.

Are we here today because one of our ancestors used a new-fangled teepee thousands of years ago?

How did Grit Grandpa Lee make the devil pay in 'Willer Holler'N'? You won't find out in the following excerpt but it will whet your appetite:

"It was nothing new to us whose families had been around since time began here, in 1827. We knew the truth and it had nothing to do with willow trees. The only thing drooping in 1827 was Grit Grandpa Lee Phison's wagon. He was a great believer in finding gold in California and this twenty-two years before gold was actually discovered there. Just think, history would have been written completely different but when the wagon broke in half between Asheville, North Carolina and Knoxville, Tennessee, he had a vision this little valley would be prosperous for the Phison family and that God had destined the wagon to break down here, at this very spot. And not because a slickster in Charlotte had sold him a wagon whose underside timbers were half rotted from sittin' in a hog wallow for several years before the farmer sold the wagon to the slickster for a dollar and a pint. The slickster sold it to Grit Grandpa Lee for a hundred dollars and guaranteed him it would get to California. It was not merely a Conestoga, but a SLE Conestoga, the Super Luxury Edition. A finer vehicle couldn't be found west of Charleston and when Grit Grandpa Lee jumped up and down in the wagon a few times, all one hundred and thirty pounds of him, it sure felt solid enough. Even if gold was still to be found in the great state of North Carolina, Grit Grandpa Lee felt the baton being handed off west to California and set his sights on getting there."

"Who knew he'd be stopped in his great destiny to be discoverer of California gold by a little bump on the map. And that's just how the Blue Ridge Mountains looked on his map compared to the endless sheer peaks of the Rockies and the Sierra Nevada."

Could God have gotten some porcupine genes and dog genes mixed up? 'Short Hair, Upholstered Chairs' may enlighten you.

Are hippos smarter than we are? The author ponders a surprising conclusion.

R.K. Ferguson is a native of Charlotte, North Carolina. He now claims the southwestern mountains of North Carolina his home. Whether they will claim him he leaves to impetuous history.

The author excels too well perhaps in the second and third person narrative and he has been forced to grudgingly confess this article is of his own concoction. Unfortunately, Mr. Ferguson has suffered all his life from an insidious imagination complex. Those closest to him wonder how he gets through each day. Some even think he is socially obtuse. Many agree.

'That's No Miracle...Nettles, Thistles, Humor, and Stories by a Scotch American' will have you chuckling or pondering life, and likely both at the same time. It is available as an electronic download at http://www.lulu.com/rkferguson. It is available as a paperback at the website just mentioned, or through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Waldenbooks, or order through your favorite independent bookstore.

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R.K. Ferguson

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