Santa Makes New Year’s Resolution--No More Milk and Cookies, It’s Time to Get Buff, Dude

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Fun press release tying Santa Claus into the growing health and fitness movement.

With the traditional New Year’s fitness resolution just a few weeks away, Santa Claus has gone public with a startling announcement, “I’m still the same jolly old St. Nick, but frankly I’m getting tired of my great big belly shaking like a bowlful of jelly” says Santa. “One of the elves got really buff this year and he told me about this terrific new Website, and told me to check it out.

When asked why he made the decision to get in shape, Santa replied, “You know, a lot of children look up to me as a role model. And the last few years I’ve noticed more and more children getting heavier and heavier, just like jolly old St. Nick. So I decided it was time for me to set a better example for them. I’m going to because they have this incredible 7X Sure guarantee if you complete their program and aren’t absolutely thrilled with the results. That tells me a lot about how confident they are in their program.”

But the thing that has Santa really excited about this new website is that it has a unique fitness game, and we all know how much children love a good game! “They have this wonderful game called Fitness League, says Santa, “where people around the world can do their own customized fitness program like me, and at the same time have fun by competing as an individual or as part of a team against their friends around the block or all the way up here at the North Pole!

I’ve never seen anything like it, but I think the kids are going to have a ball playing. And if it helps them to grow up strong and fit, well then, isn’t that really the best present that we can give to our children, their health?


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Ric Rooney
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