Dating? Four Secrets To Avoiding Insensitive Men

Ontario, Canada (PRWEB) March 7, 2005

There is very little we don’t already know about the insensitive man. Perhaps the only thing we don’t know is how to spot one in a crowd. Author Charles Harry hopes to change all that.

On the first few dates, an insensitive man will seem polite, gracious, and charming. He is putting on his “game face” on the dating “honeymoon”. We only find out what he’s really like after the honeymoon is over and we’ve become emotionally involved. “Once you get political correctness out of the way and learn how insensitive men think,” Harry says, “you’ll notice red flags that say he’s not going to respect you in the long term.”

Harry’s book, ‘Confessing with girls: money, lies, sex & insensitive men’ (Bertram & Knott, May 2005), is not a self-help manual but you may learn something. “It’s an adventure story,” Harry says, “where we listen to the intimate conversations between two successful women executives as they talk about men.” So, is it possible to discern an insensitive man from a sincere one on the first date when both are behaving? “Absolutely,” Harry says. “You must pay attention not only to his behavior but the circumstances of your situation.”

Is He Pursuing You Or Are You Pursuing Him?

Observe how a new relationship progresses: does he keep his word and call when he says he’ll call? Or must you continually chase him to arrange when you get together? The fact is; if he knows you’re worth it, he will make time for you. Men who let you “carry” the relationship are emotionally neutral: it means they don’t care if you call or not, and it means he probably has other prospects.

How Does He Treat Your Waitress?

It has been said how a man treats his waitress is the way he will treat his mate in six months or less. Pay close attention and you will discover if he sees the opposite sex as an equal or a subordinate in the master/server role. Further, watch how your date watches other females in the restaurant. If his view ventures anywhere other than a person’s eyes, it shows immediate disrespect for you. If this is your first or second date, what will he be like in six months?

How Quickly Does He Say ‘I Love You’?

While hearing ‘I love you’ is exciting after a few months or a year of dating, if it happens two weeks into your relationship it means trouble. Why? It takes time to truly get to know a person. If a man is willing to give you all of his love after such a short time it means his emotional maturity is low and he will detach from you as quickly as he attached. A sincere partner will let you know he cares in other ways early on and save the ‘I love you’ for a special moment after he knows for sure that it’s not just lust or infatuation.

Is He Confident, Witty, Charming And Fun 100% Of The Time?

True love makes men nervous. They are happy and scared at the same time. When it doesn’t happen, men are more relaxed and can be themselves easily because there’s no intense emotional reaction to your presence. If you notice he’s as charming as ever date after date with no hint of nervousness whatsoever, he either thinks of you as a friend, or he will be unfaithful or possibly abusive. Look for a man who balances both charm and nervous energy.

‘Confessing with girls: money, lies, sex & insensitive men’ will be published on May 16, 2005 by Bertram & Knott and be available to booksellers nationwide.

###