A Mother’s Grief – Handling Older Women’s Abuse of Minor Son

Stopping abuse for minors by older women dating younger men can be done. Media needs to step up and take a role in spreading the word.

Margate, FL (PRWEB) January 21, 2006 -- A few years ago one mom painstakingly sat back and watched as her son, age 14, started dating an older woman, age 19. In today’s society had the roles been reversed the 19-year-old would have been charged with rape. However, this was a woman dating a younger man. A double standard exists for them so that didn’t happen. Instead, as a concerned mom, she watched her son’s slow deterioration and begged for assistance from police and other officials. She was continually informed she could do nothing. In fact, one Police Agency even responded how he’d pat the son on the back. “Way to go.” Of course, you might feel that way if you aren’t the mom watching your son go through this rapid decline.

It’s different for men or rather boys. At 14, he only knew that this woman provided freedom, fun, and a break from what he was supposed to be doing, the right things. She could get alcohol, drugs, transportation, and things that he didn’t have access to. A lifestyle of fun and adventure that for many seemed too good to pass up. Even television today glamorizes it. Look to shows like Desperate Housewives that had an underage Gardner dating an older woman. Had it been reversed, rape would have applied.

What happened to these kids? This mom’s worst fears were played out over the years as she continued to seek assistance that just wasn’t available. As the mom watched, she truly felt that the older woman truly possessed his mind, body and spirit and completely took over him. Any mention of leaving or not doing what she wanted would result in her retaliating against him, even filing false reports.

In a December 2nd, 2005 article in the Courier Mail, James Bone wrote, “Courts across the US are cracking down on women, especially teachers, who have sex with underage boys. At least seven women, four of them teachers, have been charged or sentenced in the past month. The flurry of prosecutions follows the sex-abuse scandal in the Catholic Church. Experts say that the trend reflects a growing recognition that sexual abuse of boys can be just as serious as that of girls.”

As you can see, the media is quick to pick up upon teachers who date younger men. But why is it only wrong for teachers. What about the other teen boys that lose those vital years. When it’s your child, it doesn’t matter if it’s a teacher or a waitness at McDonalds. Your son is being abused and that’s all that counts.

Articles continue to prove the emotional damage caused by this. In an article published in the Gainesville.com on November 17, 2005, one teacher’s aid was charged with three counts of unlawful sexual activity with minors and one count of lewd and lascivious offenses on a minor under 16. A licensed psychologist in Gainesville, Harry Krop, who has treated nearly 10,000 sex offenders in his 35 years of practice stated, “It was cool for a teenaged boy to have sex with an older woman … but today people are learning that the behavior is just as inappropriate and harmful to young boys as it is to young girls.” Krop further concluded, “These victims tend to have more psychological damage than young girls. They have boundary issues and intimacy problems. They are usually vulnerable and the women look for that.”

Today’s society needs to recognize what’s going on and help the victims. The emotional scars they carry are evident and the life-changing trauma that ensues is great. Let’s fight for our kids. Let’s bring this abuse to center stage and make changes so next time a mom seeks help from local police for an underage boy, they aren’t met with “way to go,” but rather, that’s illegal, how can we help you to stop it. You can make a difference by bringing this into the media limelight.    

Contact: Gladys Smith
Phone: (954) 971-9303

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