FROM NEWSLAUGH.COM, THE SANELY FUNNY WEEKLY: Facing Defeat In War Of Words In Iraq, U. S. Launches Operation Thesaurus

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In this week's issue, Newslaugh reveals that the new U. S. offensive in Iraq is aimed at the euphemistic resources of the enemy, wherever they may be lurking. The attack targets intentionally misleading words that have infiltrated the media and even the Pentagon, such as "jihad" and "insurgency."

The new offensive is aimed at the euphemistic resources of the enemy, wherever they may be lurking. The attack targets intentionally misleading words that have infiltrated the media and even the Pentagon, such as "jihad" and "insurgency."

This article and other witty spoofs inspired by current topics in the news can be found online at Newslaugh.

Other articles in this week’s issue:

DREADLINE OF THE WEEK

SADDAM HUSSEIN SEEKS MCDONALD'S FRANCHISE

Saddam Hussein, in his latest bid to escape execution for crimes against his own people, has reportedly applied to McDonald’s for a franchise. The application is widely regarded as a move by his defense team to convince the court that, if his life is spared, he will be a model citizen in the Iraq of the future. In his application, Hussein states that he has a great deal of fast-food experience from his months on the run.

NEW ORLEANS UPDATE

Fats Domino attributes Katrina survival to inflated body; Mayor Nagen admits whites drowned, too.

FRENCH YOUTHS PROTEST PINK SLIP RULE

They insist that when a woman puts on a slip, it should be black or white, so they know what's on her mind.

WASHINGTON SPIN DIN

Senator Bill Frist admits name is misspelled. Blames great grandparents.

HILARIOUS SPOOF OF THE WEEK

DO-IT-YOURSELF HEART SURGERY

Due to rising healthcare costs, more and more people are taking a do-it-yourself approach to surgery. The FDA has not yet approved the practice.

DOLLARS AND NONSENSE

Planning on retiring to a beachfront home? Don't forget to allow for rising sea levels.

CULTURE

American classical composer takes radical step of composing music he feels will attract

an audience.

WHAT'S ENTERTAINMENT

In wake of Pink Panther pans, Steve Martin vows next movie will have a script.

SPORTS SHORTS

"Green" high-school basketball team saves electricity by switching from shorts to ther

CLEVER MONKEY OF THE WEEK

Osama Bin Laden reevaluates business model. Cites widespread dissatisfaction with corporate lifestyle and employee concern about safety hazards.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Current events are like passing ships on a wide river, with various passengers waving and shouting for your attention. You should keep one eye on the river, so you live in your time. You can also step into the river, if you wish to participate in the events. Just don’t get washed away. You live on or should often return to the bank, where, despite what happens on the passing river, you can enjoy life, especially if you read Newslaugh.” Newslaugh

The complete issue is available online at newslaugh.

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Tom Attea
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