The Brokeback Wives Have a Modern Day Parallel

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Infidelity expert Ruth Houston urges viewers to consider the modern day parallel of the Brokeback wives, who are victims of same sex infidelity.

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston feels that Brokeback Mountain provides valuable insight into same sex infidelity; even though this award-winning film is often described as a gay love story or a gay cowboy romance.

“Unfortunately, the infidelity aspect of this film has been overshadowed by the love story between the two men. “ says Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs and founder of Houston is hopeful that the DVD release of Brokeback Mountain will raise public awareness of this situation.

Houston, says, ” 1.4 million Brokeback DVD’s were sold the first day of its release. This means that millions of viewers will be watching this movie from the comfort of their homes. This leisurely setting should allow home viewers to focus on the less-publicized same sex infidelity theme in this film. Those who enjoy analyzing and discussing the details of the movies they watch are certain to zero in on the plight of the Brokeback wives.“

Brokeback’s two main characters, Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar, are gay or bisexual married men, who are cheating on their wives. Alma and Lureen are victims of same sex infidelity. This aspect of Brokeback Mountain has largely been ignored.

The Modern Day Parallel

“Most people aren’t even aware that the Brokeback wives have a modern day parallel.” says Houston, who cites some of the current statistics for same sex infidelity:

The Centers for Disease Control estimate that more than 3 million women are, or have been wives or girlfriends of men who secretly have sex with other men.

According to the Family Pride Coalition, 20 percent of all gay men in America are in heterosexual marriages. Like Jack and Ennis, a least half of all gay men in America have fathered children.

The Straight Spouse Network, a national organization with support groups for mixed orientation couples, estimates that at least 2 million gay / bisexual people are married to straight partners.

Always the Last to Know

Most of these women are unaware of their husbands’ true sexual orientation.

Says Houston, “As is typical with most types of infidelity, the unsuspecting wife is usually the last to know. Some women never find out. Those who do are unsure of how to handle the situation. And they usually blame themselves for not picking up the signs, but have no idea what signs they should have seen."

Having spent 11 years researching and documenting signs of infidelity, Houston, whose book, Is He Cheating on You?, documents practically every known sign of infidelity, can vouch for the fact that the signs of same sex infidelity are not easy to spot.

“Like Jack and Ennis in Brokeback Mountain, gay or bisexual married men are very adept at hiding their same sex affairs,” says Houston. They go to great lengths to cover up obvious signs of their sexual orientation. Knowing what to look for is the key, since many of the signs are subtle and easy to overlook.”

This point has not has not escaped female viewers of Brokeback Mountain. The movie has women wondering “Could this happen to me? Could I find myself in the same situation? What are the signs? How can I tell? What would I do if it happened to me?"

Tip Sheet on Same Sex Infidelity

“Very little has been written about what to look for and what to do with regard to same sex infidelity,” says Houston, whose website, provides practical help for victims of infidelity.

Last August, as a service to her readers and website visitors, Houston compiled a 2-part tip sheet on same sex infidelity. The tip sheet is free to anyone who requests it by e-mailing (InfidelityInfo at with the words “Same Sex Tip Sheet” in the subject line. Houston says requests for the tip sheet quadrupled during the first 3 months of this year.

Part 1 of the tip sheet describes Houston’s discreet 3-step procedure for finding out if your husband or boyfriend is sexually involved with other men. Part 2 tells what to do, how to confront him, and where to get help if you find yourself in a “Brokeback situation.”

The Health Consequences

In addition to the betrayal, women who are victims of same sex infidelity also have to contend with the health consequences of the situation. Statistics from the Centers for Disease Control indicate that MSM, the term used by researchers for men who have sex with men, are at greater risk for contracting HIV. Their propensity for anonymous sexual encounters and unprotected sex, increase the likelihood that they will become infected with sexually transmitted diseases, and pass them on to their unsuspecting mates.

Houston concludes, “ Hopefully, with so many copies availble, the Brokeback DVD will be instrumental in raising public awareness of same sex infidelity. Though HIV/AIDS was not a factor during the time period when Brokeback Mountain was set, in this day and age, sex infidelity can have life threatening implications. Same sex infidelity, the plight of the Brokeback wives, is a situation that affects millions of women today On that basis alone, it's a problem that certainly merits a closer look.”

About Ruth Houston:

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs, and the founder of She has been quoted in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Washington Times, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle UPI, and numerous other print and online media.

Ruth has been a guest on The Today Show, Good Day New York, Telemundo, BBC, CBC, TalkAmerica, Michael Baisden’s Love, Lust and Lies, Dr. Carole’s Couch, BBC, CBC and over 200 other radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, the Caribbean, Europe, South America, Australia, and New Zealand.

To interview Ruth Houston or have her speak to your group call 718 592-6039 or e-mail her at (InfidelityExpert at

About the Book:

Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs lists practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs women usually overlook. The signs are conveniently grouped into 21 major categories so a woman can quickly locate the signs that apply to her mate. No special skills or equipment are required. All a woman needs are her own eyes and ears, her personal knowledge of her mate, and the information in this book. To order Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs , call 1-800-431-1579, or order from or

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