“Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman?”

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Men and women seem to become more and more alike everyday. I’ve noticed that men need and want a lot of the same things that women have – including the face-cream, hair care products, and expensive hair cuts. Men also want and have the same amount of choices that women have in regards to lingerie (think silk boxers), self-tanners and jewelry. I think it’s great that men have evolved enough to ask for variety and options in these “womanly areas,”; but I never thought men would get angry enough to send hate mail to me because I created a website specifically for women who have been dumped, thereby neglecting to create one for men.

Men and women seem to become more and more alike everyday. I’ve noticed that men need and want a lot of the same things that women have – including face-cream, hair care products, and expensive hair cuts. Men also want have the same amount of choices that women have in regards, to lingerie (think silk boxers), self-tanners and jewelry. I think it’s great that men have evolved enough to ask for variety and options in these “womanly areas,”;but I never thought men would get angry enough to send hate mail to me because I created a website specifically for women who have been dumped, thereby neglecting to create one for men.

I’ve been dumped a couple of times. The last time this happened, at age 28, I pushed away all of my self pity and low self-esteem and decided to do something with this pent up energy. I thought about the ways I had coped through the various breakups, and I wrote down ways that I found to help me to heal in the past. I then figured out how to build a website, http://www.brokenheartedgirl.com, how to sell my book, and how to make it a fun place for women to visit. The BreakUp Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex was written in response to the many books that push women out into the dating scene too hastily; not leaving time for the broken hearted woman to lick her wounds.

This site initiated a lot of backlash, unbelieveably the gay men and lesbians I encountered were very excited about the book, but the metrosexual men were absolutely not. I could not believe the sheer amount of hate mail I received from men. “Why do they only make sites like this for women? Why do people think that men can heal in the time it takes to drink a six-pack, while women are allowed and often invited to deal with their sorrow in creative ways? Where’s my book? Where can I go to speak about the pain I feel?”

I then began questioning my male friends: “What kind of book would you like to see? How do you normally handle a break up?” I did a lot of work; surveyed coworkers, family members and used some of the gender neutral exercises from The BreakUp Workbook: A Common Sense Guide to Getting Over Your Ex. After months of hard work, I wrote The BreakUp Workbook for Men. I then created a site called http://www.brokenheartedguy.com. Now men have their own downloadable book, their own male-oriented break-up articles, and they can share in the free anonymous forum, which is open to all individuals, regardless of age or sexual orientation.

Now, instead of reading hate mail, I receive a lot of thank you notes from men who not only appreciate the site, but also the anonymity provided by the co-ed forum. My ultimate hope is that the BreakUp Workbooks (one specific to men, one specific to women) used in tandem with the real-time forum will help men and women to heal from the wounds of heart break. The forum will offer a safe place for individuals to discuss the healing stages from the BreakUp Workbooks, while learning from one another. As women and men become more alike on the outside – the need to understand one another on the inside still remains an issue. Hopefully more time and trends can help to cure that age old issue. Or perhaps these BreakUp Workbooks and the forum at http://mjac.forumco.com will allow men and women to realize that we are even more alike than we think.

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Mj Acharya
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