NewsLaugh Exclusive! Bush Vetoes Charcoal Grill Bill; Cites Carbon As Fundamental Component Of Life

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In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports that, as expected, George Bush vetoed the Charcoal Grill Bill that was passed by the Senate and the House. Citing the role of carbon, not only in charcoal briquettes, but as the fundamental component of life, Mr. Bush stated, “You’ve got to respect carbon. Without it, none of us would be here.” He then pointed to himself, and said, “For instance, I wouldn’t be here. I owe my life to carbon.”

In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports that, as expected, George Bush vetoed the Charcoal Grill Bill that was passed by the Senate and the House -- without, however, enough votes in either house to override his ill-considered flick of the pen. It was the first veto of his presidency.

Citing the role of carbon, not only in charcoal briquettes, but as the fundamental component of life, Mr. Bush stated, “You’ve got to respect carbon. Without it, none of us would be here.” He then pointed to himself, and said, “For instance, I wouldn’t be here. I owe my life to carbon.”

Standing behind him were a number of effervescently grateful families who had been invited to participate in the photo op.

Mr. Bush, smiling broadly, picked up one of the kids, and stated, “Same goes for all these families and their wonderful children. Without carbon, they wouldn’t be here, either.”

A reporter noted, "I believe that's correct, sir, since carbon is also found in oil, and I'm sure they drove or flew in."

“Oh, s---,” Bush exclaimed. “Being the president is a lot harder than I thought. Don’t tell me. In oil, too?"

"Yes, sir, and in coal."

"Well, I’m not a chemist," the President admitted. "So I’ll have to look into that."

This humorous but pointed story is only one of the many ways readers can discover “Sanity Through Laughter” by going to NewsLaugh.com, created by humorist Tom Attea, which claims, “You can’t change the news but you can laugh at it.”

Other sanely funny features in this week’s free issue include:

  • A Bomb For A Bomb And A Rocket For A Rocket; What Hath Terrorism Wrought But A New Code Of Hammurabi

  • Global Warming Update: Tropical Rainy Season Moves Up To New England
  • Israeli-Hezbollah Conflict Moves To Center Stage; Insurgents In Iraq Strike Back
  • A Life Of Lorenzo Da Ponte: Talent Flies; Practical Reason Walks
  • Robots Getting Smarter; Plan To Enter Politics

Readers can also laugh out loud at NewsLaugh's weekly fictional spoof. This week the magazine satirizes questionable answers to the thorny topics of birth control and the prevention of STDs with the extended spoof in which Dr. Coburn shows how you can "Just Say No To Sex." Students are encouraged to bolster their willpower with "Dr. Coburn’s One Hundred Axioms Of Abstinence." Previous installments are repeated after the latest installment for readers who may have missed one or more.

Readers may also subscribe to NewsLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.

Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.

About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:

Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs.”

He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New York’s Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.

He has extensive experience in news media. He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New York’s new broadsheet newspaper, “Illuminate Your World,” the classic campaign for Time Magazine, “There’s never been a greater need for understanding,” and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, “In this city, you need a Voice.” In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, “There’s nothing like a woman’s Lifetime,” and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.

The complete issue is available at http://www.newslaugh.com

Tom Attea

Creator & Writer

NewsLaugh.Com

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Telephone: 212-769-4545

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