NewsLaugh Exclusive! Embryo Talks: Defends Right To Be Useful Before It’s Tossed On The Trash Heap Of Time

Share Article

In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, presents “If Embryos Could Talk.” It’s our pointed Spoof of the Week. Read how it begins and then click onto NewsLaugh.com to read it all: An embryo was relaxing when a female clinician approached the little glass dish in which it was defrosting after a long time in the freezer. The embryo noticed her approach and exclaimed, “Whoopee, do I get implanted now? I can’t wait to grow up and become a real person!” “No such luck,” the researcher told the embryo.

In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, presents “If Embryos Could Talk.” It’s our pointed Spoof of the Week. Read how it begins and then click onto NewsLaugh.com to read it all:

An embryo was relaxing when a female clinician approached the little glass dish in which it was defrosting after a long time in the freezer.

The embryo noticed her approach and exclaimed, “Whoopee, do I get implanted now? I can’t wait to grow up and become a real person!”

“No such luck,” the researcher told the embryo.

“What do you mean? I’ve been in cold storage for months, and now you’re telling me I don’t get to move up to becoming a baby?”

“I’m sorry,” the lady researcher said, “but we already implanted your sister.”

“My sister?”

“Yes, we had to select one of the embryos we created so the infertile couple could have a child, and she turned out to be the lucky one. I’m sorry. The woman doesn’t have room for anymore.”

“Oh,” replied the embryo, suddenly disconsolate. “Can’t you find another woman who would be happy to have me implanted?”

“I would if I could, but our customers generally prefer to be implanted with their own embryos.”

“So what’s going to happen to me?”

The researcher paused. She didn’t want to break the news to the wannabe. But she knew she had to. “You’re going to be destroyed.”

“Destroyed?” the embryo asked, startled.

“Yes. I’m sorry,” she said, picking up the little dish in which the pre-tot quivered with anxiety. “Now, you’re just biohazard.”

“Bio- what?”

“-Hazard. So into the trash you go.”

“Hold on there,” the embryo protested. “You mean I’ve been declared dispensable?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“A hazard?”

“Yes.”

“Totally useless?”

“Well,” the researcher lamented, “not necessarily totally useless.”

The embryo perked up. “Tell me about that.”

And so the story of the embryo fighting for a useful place in the great unfolding of human life continues, before it is finally, like all of us after we complete our lives, tossed onto the trash heap of time.

This telling but humorous story is only one of the many ways readers can discover “Sanity Through Laughter” by going to NewsLaugh.com, created by humorist Tom Attea, which claims, “You can’t change the news but you can laugh at it.”

Other sanely funny features in this week’s free issue include:

  • Ok, The Building Is On Fire. Which Do You Save First – The Baby, The Old Testament, The New Testament, Or The Koran?

*Iran Provides “Multifaceted Response” To UN: Launches Ten Missiles

*George Bush Discovers Foreign Intrigue

  • Senate Offers Outlet For Bipartisan Feuding: Will Install Boxing Ring
  • About Time: Somali Woman Flogs Islamic Leader
  • Cruise Takes A Bruise
  • Toyota Introduces The Toy; The First Pedal Car For Adults

Readers may also subscribe to NewLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.

Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.

About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:

Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs.”

He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New York’s Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.

He has extensive experience in news media. He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New York’s new broadsheet newspaper, “Illuminate Your World,” the classic campaign for Time Magazine, “There’s never been a greater need for understanding,” and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, “In this city, you need a Voice.”

In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, “There’s nothing like a woman’s Lifetime,” and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.

Email this story to a colleague

Printer Friendly Version

The complete issue is available at http://www.newslaugh.com

For more information, email haha@newslaugh.com

Tom Attea

Creator & Writer

Newslaugh.Com

Visit the Site

Telephone: 212-769-4545

Disclaimer: If you have any questions regarding information in these press releases please contact the company listed in the press release.

###

Share article on social media or email:

View article via:

Pdf Print

Contact Author

Tom Attea
Visit website