NewsLaugh Exclusive -- Israel To Recognize Palestine’s Right To Exist

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In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports that, after decades of militant resistance to the inevitable, Israel plans to recognize Palestine’s right to exist. Palestinians, who have by now grown used to the belief that they are the ones who get to decide which state has a right to exist, were bewildered by the surprise announcement. They also puzzled over whether it means they really ought to acknowledge Israel's right to exist.

In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, reports that, after decades of militant resistance to the inevitable, Israel plans to recognize Palestine’s right to exist. Palestinians, who have by now grown used to the belief that they are the ones who get to decide which state has a right to exist, were bewildered by the surprise announcement.

They also puzzled over whether it means they really ought to acknowledge Israel's right to exist.

The Hamas faction of the proposed unity government remained particularly confused, demanding Israel explain exactly what it means by its recognition of Palestine’s right to exist.

Hamas also insisted that any recognition of Israel could only be addressed after certain recurrent provocations were ended, such as militant Jewish grandmothers acting as suicide bombers and malcontent Orthodox Jews firing rockets into Gaza and the West Bank that are loaded with matzoh balls.

Undaunted by the intense confusion among Palestinians, Israel continued to forge ahead with its innovative plan, saying that, even if Hamas refuses to recognize Israel's right to exist, it plans to move ahead independently to recognize Palestine.

Israel’s continued insistence on recognition of Palestine only served to cause even more head scratching among Palestinians, with the leader of Hamas declaring, "What do the Israelis mean? I don't know what the ramifications of such a go-it-alone policy are. I have to think about it. We're a state, but they're not? How does that work?"

Ehud Olmert said, "In Yiddish we call what we gave them a real kinnahurra. But it's for their own good. We can only hope they eventually figure it out."

Other sanely funny features in this week’s free issue include:

  • America May Become Nonaligned Nation; Cites Worldwide Ingratitude
  • Quick Question: Does God Advocate Murder?
  • Oui, Monsieur, The French Are Not Immune. Si, Signore, Even The Pope Must Do The Rope A Dope
  • Senate Wonders If New Kind Of Warfare Requires New Rules; Forgets How Colonists Picked Off Redcoats
  • "The Invention Of Sex; An Eyewitness Account" – Part One Of

"The Invention Of Everything." It’s our Spoof of the Week!

  • Study Shows Angry People Get More Heart Attacks; Nice People Delighted

Readers may also subscribe to NewLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.

Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.

About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:

Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs.”

He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New York’s Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.

He has extensive experience in news media. He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New York’s new broadsheet newspaper, “Illuminate Your World,” the classic campaign for Time Magazine, “There’s never been a greater need for understanding,” and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, “In this city, you need a Voice.” In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, “There’s nothing like a woman’s Lifetime,” and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.

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Tom Attea

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Newslaugh.Com

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