NewsLaugh Exclusive! Coyote Excuses Predatory Behavior; Claims He was Molested by a Cocker Spaniel

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In this week’s free issue, NewsLaugh.com, The Sanely Funny Weekly Humor Magazine, presents the tearful confession of a coyote, who excuses his predatory behavior by claiming he was molested by a cocker spaniel when he was young.

After providing his excuse, he immediately sought rehabilitation as a vegetarian. A transcript of his entire confession follows:

"I am truly sorry for molesting lambs. I just couldn’t help myself. You see, when I was a young coyote, I myself was molested by a cocker spaniel -- not just once, but repeatedly, over a period of more than a year.

"There I was, an innocent and youthful coyote on the prowl, with never a thought of clamping onto a lamb by the throat, dragging it to the ground, and making a meal out of it. No, sir, I was, like all normal coyotes, at least as far as I knew at that innocent time of my life, a complete vegetarian."

Other sanely funny features in this week’s free issue include:

  • What is Islamic Behavior? Generally, How Islamic People Behave
  • Social Security And The Mystery Of The Missing Boomer FICA Payments
  • North Korea Throws Nuclear Tantrum; Cries For More Monetary Milk
  • Bush Claims Approval Rating At All Time High; His Wife Told Him
  • The Invention Of The Sky; Part Four Of The Invention Of Everything, An Eyewitness Account – It’s our Spoof of the Week!
  • New Book About End Of Life On Earth; Skips Beginning Of It

Readers may also subscribe to NewLaugh's free weekly newsletter for exclusive laughs and offers.

Each week, NewsLaugh.com presents humorous weekly articles under such headings as Sanely Funny Cover Story, Dreadline of the Week, Shreditorial, Washington Spin Din, Clever Monkey of the Week, and a Spoof of the Week.

About Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com:

Mr. Attea has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his comedy writing, "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."

He was awarded a grant as a playwright by New York’s Theater For The New City and co-wrote the first feature film Showtime produced.

He has extensive experience in news media. He wrote the recent campaign for The New York Sun, New York’s new broadsheet newspaper, "Illuminate Your World," the classic campaign for Time Magazine, "There’s never been a greater need for understanding," and the long-running theme for The Village Voice, "In this city, you need a Voice." In broadcast media, he wrote the advertising that successfully introduced Lifetime television, "There’s nothing like a woman’s Lifetime," and oversaw all the advertising for WABC TV and radio in New York.

The complete issue is available at http://www.newslaugh.com

For more information, email haha @ newslaugh.com

Tom Attea

Creator & Writer

Newslaugh.Com

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Telephone: 212-769-4545

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