How to Legally Spy on a Cheating Mate

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Infidelity expert discusses a legal way to spy on cheating mates.

So you suspect infidelity and you want to find out the truth. Infidelity expert Ruth Houston warns that if you spy on your spouse or significant other with one of the many surveillance devices, you’re probably breaking the law. But there's a perfectly legal way to spy on a cheating mate.

Illegal Use of Surveillance Equipment

Websites and spy stores offer a vast array of surveillance equipment -- audio and video devices disguised as common household objects, GPS devices which can track your spouse’s vehicle and keep you informed of his or her location, gadgets and software programs you can install on your spouse’s computer to monitor their internet activities.

“Though buying these products is not necessarily illegal," points out Houston, “using surveillance equipment to get the goods on a cheating spouse, or enlisting others to use this equipment in your behalf, could put you in violation of state or federal wiretapping laws. "

“Most people don’t realize that there are strict laws regarding where, when, how and under what circumstances surveillance equipment can be used.” warns infidelity expert Ruth Houston. “The laws apply to both telephone and computer communications, and include phone calls, text messages, e-mails, instant messages, and chat room logs. People who purchase spy equipment to hack into or intercept these communications, have no idea that they’re about to do something illegal that could land them in jail.

“For example, in New York state where I live, tapping into someone’s computer account without their permission is a felony punishable by one to four years imprisonment.

“Stores and websites that sell surveillance equipment usually post disclaimers stating that the products are only to be used in a legal manner. But it’s the purchaser's responsibility to ascertain the legality of the use of such equipment in the state where he or she resides. And the laws vary from state to state.”

Other Illegal Spying Techniques

Pretexting is also illegal – the practice of calling a cell phone company and pretending to be someone else in order to obtain access to their phone records.

Even if you hire a private investigator to spy on your mate, if he uses illegal methods to do so, you could be liable too.

Just recently, New York State attorney general candidate Jeanine Pirro was the subject of a federal investigation because she was caught on tape trying to get former NYPD Commissioner Bernard Kerik to bug the family boat to determine if her husband was having an extramarital affair.

The Legal Way to Spy on a Cheating Mate

So if you suspect infidelity, how do you spy on your mate without running afoul of the law?

Houston, the nation's foremost authority on detecting the signs of infidelity WITHOUT the use of investigators, electronic gadgets, or surveillance equipment says, "I see no reason to use illegal methods, when you can find out practically anything you want to know about the affair using your own eyes and ears, your personal knowledge of your mate, and the information in my book. Knowing what to look for is the key.”

Houston’s book, Is He Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs documents practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs most people overlook. Despite the title, most signs in the book apply to both cheating women and cheating men. (Although by popular request, the e-book version sold through has a special 10-page section for men with cheating wives or girlfriends )

Houston maintains that once you know what to look for, you can use your five senses to find out whatever you want to know about your partner’s affair, including what type of affair it is (workplace, emotional, sexual, cybersex, same sex), what stage the affair is in, how serious it is, how much of a threat it poses to your marriage or relationship, the identity of the other woman (or other man) , when, where, and how often they meet, and more.

Drawing on 13 years of in-depth infidelity research and thousands of interviews with marriage and family counselors, cheating spouses and infidelity victims (both male and female), divorce attorneys, private investigators specializing in infidelity investigations, psychologists, sociologists and other professionals in the field, Houston has identified 21 major categories of infidelity signs. Categories include Work Habits, Conversational Clues, Day-To-Day Behavior, Telephone Tip-Offs, How He Relates to You, Car Clues, Physical Appearance, His Behavior Around Other Women, Computer Use, Financial Affairs and 11 others. For a FREE tip sheet describing the 21 categories of infidelity signs, e-mail InfidelityInfo @ with “categories-prw” in the subject line.

Says Houston, “If your partner is really cheating, you’ll find clusters of signs from several of these categories all at once. Since so many of the signs are subtle and easy to overlook, I can’t stress strongly enough that knowing what to look for is the key.”

Houston claims that using the methods described in her book, you can even find information a private investigator would be unlikely to uncover without your help. “And the best part of all” says Houston, “is that it’s discreet, affordable, accurate, and 100% legal.”

Houston’s book, Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs (Lifestyle Publications, $29.95, ISBN 0-9720553-4-7) is available online from her website , from, or from a 24 hour toll free number - 1-800-431-1579.

About the Book:

Is Cheating on You? - 829 Telltale Signs by infidelity expert Ruth Houston, covers practically every known sign of infidelity, including the subtle signs people usually overlook. The signs are grouped into 21 major categories so you can easily find the signs that apply to your mate. Each category contains 19 to 92 specific signs of infidelity, all of which can be found using your eyes and ears, your personal knowledge of your mate, and the information in the book. No special skills or equipment required.

Available online from, from, or from the toll free number 1-800-431-1579. ( Lifestyle Publications, $29.95, ISBN 0-9720553-4-7) Also available as an e-book from

For a FREE tip sheet describing the 21 categories of infidelity signs, e-mail InfidelityInfo @ with “categories-prw” in the subject line.

About Ruth Houston

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs and the founder of She is frequently called on by the media to comment on high profile infidelity cases, and popular infidelity issues in the news, and has been quoted in the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Post, the Chicago Tribune, Cosmopolitan, the Toronto Sun, the Houston Chronicle, New York Newsday, the Christian Science Monitor, Crain’s New York Business, MSN Lifestyle, iVillage, , Newhouse News Service, UPI, Reuters, Entertainment Online, Hollywood Heat, Univision Online and numerous other print and online media.

She has been a guest on The Today Show, Good Day New York, Telemundo, Ireland’s Late Late Show, ”BBC, CBC, 1010WINS, Court TV Radio, the Mike Gallagher Show, TalkAmerica, Sirius Satellite, Radio, CN8 and over 270 other radio and TV talk shows in the United States, Canada, Europe, South America, New Zealand, Australia and the Caribbean.

To interview infidelity expert Ruth Houston, call 718 592-6039 or e-mail InfidelityExpert @


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