N.C. Adoption Dispute Raises Questions About Adoption Ethics

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New Jersey based Adoption: Legalized Lies is speaking out about the alleged kidnapping of North Carolina twins Holly and Tyler Needham, whose adoption was disputed by Allison Quets. Volunteers from the anti-adoption organization say Quets' case is a sign of bigger problems at play in the adoption industry.

New Jersey based Adoption: Legalized Lies is speaking out about the alleged kidnapping of North Carolina twins Holly and Tyler Needham by Allison Quets, who conceived and birthed the twins after undergoing IVF. Volunteers from the anti-adoption organization say Quets' case is a sign of bigger problems at play in the adoption industry.

Gail Quets has gone on record stating that her sister Allison was faced with intense pressure to surrender the newborns for adoption. Quets goes on to say that the 48 year old woman, recovering from a traumatic pregnancy and birth, revoked her consent almost immediately and has been fighting for the return of the children ever since.

Shortly after the twins were born, Allison Quets contacted anti-adoption activist Jessica DelBalzo. Through Adoption: Legalized Lies, DelBalzo put Quets in touch with volunteers who advised her to seek legal counsel and revoke the consent that she had signed. "This advice, along with words of support and encouragement, is typical of what we tell all parents who come to us for help confronting the loss of their children," DelBalzo says.

The activist, involved in the movement to abolish adoption for nearly 10 years, continues, "Quets' story is indicative of many problems with the way adoption is handled."

DelBalzo says she has been in touch with countless mothers and fathers who were coerced into surrendering their children. She says their attempts to use the court to lobby for the return of their babies have been met with legal roadblocks, media criticism and financial strain.

"I've never told a mother to take her baby and run, but I've often thought it," DelBalzo says. "Justice rarely prevails in these cases. The odds are stacked against these parents from the very beginning."

DelBalzo and her fellow anti-adoption activists blame a culture that is biased in favor of adoption for the alleged lack of justice in contested adoption cases.

"A mother says, 'I want my baby.' You don't tell her to wait. You don't make her get a lawyer. You return her baby," DelBalzo says. "The whole process shouldn't take a week, let alone a year or more."

DelBalzo argues, "The would-be adoptive couples who withhold a wanted baby -- those are the real kidnappers."

Asked what she believes needs to change in adoption, DelBalzo says, "I would be thrilled if the entire institution were non-existent." She goes on to say that "in the meantime," a longer period of at least six months during which parents could revoke their consent should be mandated nationally and strictly enforced by the law."

DelBalzo also says that prospective adopters who refuse to return a child whose parents have revoked their consent should be charged with kidnapping. "What the Needhams, and others like them, have done," she says, "is inexcuseable. Withholding a wanted child from a loving mother is unconscionable."

Parents who feel that they are currently being or have recently been pressured into surrendering a child for adoption can contact Adoption: Legalized Lies by email or phone (908) 764-6998 for assistance.

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Jessica DelBalzo
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