New York (PRWEB) January 22, 2007
"Feeling good is difficult when you make too many wrong choices," says Lynn Rasmussen, author of Men Are Easy, "When you're up against money, relationship, and health problems, sometimes you don't know how to get out of the spin cycle of an unhappy life." Rasmussen, a life coach, says to feel good, you need to make sure that your basic needs are being met, that your life is aligned with your values, and that you're a reasonably competent and contributing adult.
Daniel Goleman started the buzz with his bestselling books, Emotional Intelligence and more recently, Social Intelligence. Psychiatrist Martin Seligman, in his current bestseller, Authentic Happiness, is no longer just diagnosing and treating problems. He is now teaching people how to create happiness with good thoughts.
Rasmussen says to focus on simple ways to get your life in order and to think clearly. Then happiness, optimism, and doing well for others follow naturally.
Here are ten ways to make your life easier and to make yourself and others around you happier:
1. Imagine a good life.
If you don't know where you're going, it's hard to get there. Write down how you want to live and how you want to feel. Write down what you want to experience in a month and in six months. Then put it away. You've done enough to set a little "guidance system" in place.
2. Get selfish.
Put yourself first. Eat, rest, and find a little time for yourself. Get those basic needs met. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of anyone else.
3. Clear your head by clearing the list.
Write down everything that's hanging over your head, incomplete, and nagging you. This is not a "to do" list. It's an Awareness List. It could run into the hundreds. Putting the mess on paper will stop it from rolling around in your head, and you will find yourself clearing the list naturally.
4. Add joy to your routines.
Dance to music when doing the chores. Hug your children and friends more. Take a slow bath. Sit under the stars. Have a cup of tea at the local bookstore. Smile for no reason at all. Breathe deeply.
5. Get curious, not angry or afraid.
Getting angry at or worrying about your husband, a teenager, or your mother-in-law rarely helps. Instead wonder, "What could he or she be thinking?" When you lighten up, you see more clearly what's going on, and chances are good that others will lighten up around you.
6. Focus on what you value.
Once you get your basic needs met, then it's easier to clarify what you value. Then saying "yes" and "no" becomes easier. Others may not always like your response, but they will more likely respect and appreciate the clarity.
7. Design your life on purpose.
Tradition's gone. You're figuring out how to eat, exercise, partner, parent, work, worship, spend, invest, everything. Tackling self care and that pesky Awareness List is a design process. If you start with the easiest and simplest things, you'll soon find yourself creatively designing everything in your life.
8. Expect chaos.
Sometimes nothing works, but that's not always bad. Chaos is what happens when old ways of thinking and doing things no longer work and new insights haven't yet emerged. It's part of the creative process. Chaos is a good thing.
9. Forgive yourself and move on.
So what if you fall back on old bad habits for a bit? So what if you let things go and life spins out? You're human! Give yourself a break. At least you see it now. Time to focus on the basics and get yourself together again.
10. Remember that happiness is only one thought away.
You don't have to carry out each tip on this list. Any one of these tips will point you in the right direction. In fact, only one optimistic thought is enough to put you back on the path.
Happiness comes when you can trust that, no matter what happens, you will find ways to improve your life and do good for others, says Rasmussen. The conscious design of a good life is more a matter of creativity than discipline, of style than money, and of awareness than education. In life as a design space, the world is full of possibility and good feelings are a natural byproduct.
For more information on making your life and relationships easier, go to http://www.menareeasy.com. For media inquiries, contact Nanette Noffsinger at 615-776-4230.