Eight Valentine's Day Gifts that Can Improve a Marriage

Marriage counseling expert Nancy Wasson has marriage advice for spouses wondering what to give their partner for Valentine's Day: "Give a gift that has impact long after Valentine's Day is over."

Birmingham, AL (PRWEB) February 5, 2007 -- It can be challenging deciding what to give your mate for Valentine's Day, according to marriage counseling coach Nancy Wasson, Ph.D. Not surprisingly, even traditional gifts such as candy, flowers or romantic cards will only go so far, especially if a couple has an unhappy marriage.

"If the relationship has fundamental problems such as controlling behavior, those kinds of gifts usually don't help much," says Dr. Wasson. Deeper issues that can lead to marriage separation and divorce need to be faced before holiday presents make much impact.

So are there any gifts you can give your spouse that would have a long-reaching impact on improving the quality of your marriage?

"Yes, there are," emphasizes Wasson. "Here are eight Valentine's Day gifts to consider that can improve the quality of your relationship. Many are free or low-cost and won't strain the budget, but they all have the potential to be the 'gift that keeps on giving.'"

1. Working on yourself and your personal issues in individual counseling so that your unresolved "hot buttons" don't cause marriage problems. This can be a huge gift to give your mate -- the gift of an emotionally healthier you.

2. Improving your relationship skills by reading books, listening to CD's or tapes, and, if your mate is willing, going to couples counseling together.

3. Giving extra time and attention to your spouse each week. This is a priceless gift that will enrich your relationship and contribute to better intimacy.

4. Planning fun or interesting experiences versus expensive meals in a restaurant. While eating out can be fun, it can also be stressful for some couples because of the demand for on-going conversation while you're sitting across the table from each other. If your communication is currently strained because of marital conflict or problems, this can feel awkward.

5. Making your sexual relationship a consistent priority. The on-going importance of sex in a marriage is often underrated as time goes by. The demands of children, family members, a career, housework, and other activities can siphon off your energy and time.

6. Taking good care of yourself so that you're happy, centered and balanced. You can't give someone else what you don't already have yourself. Peace, love, and harmony come from inside of you and aren't created by external events.

7. Expanding your circle of friends individually and as a couple to include more positive, inspiring people. You are influenced by the friends you hang out with -- either for better or for the worse. To become more positive in approach and to achieve your relationship goals, be on the lookout for people who have the type of attitude and marriage that you would like to have.

8. Deepening your own spiritual connection and sharing this goal with your mate, if possible. Inner peace, calm, and faith can be strengthened as you deepen your own spiritual connection, and this can have a positive impact on your marriage. If you and your spouse are fortunate enough to share this goal, the resulting feeling of soul connection can be deeply rewarding.

Nancy Wasson, Ph.D., is the co-creator of Overcome Control Conflict with Your Spouse or Partner: What to Do if Your Mate Says You're Too Controlling OR if You're Tired of Being Controlled, available at www.ControllingSpouse.com.

She has been a Licensed Professional Counselor for more than twenty years. Dr. Wasson coaches couples in unhappy marriages and provides immediate help through the privacy of telephone and email consultations.

In addition, she is the co-author of "Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says 'I Don't Love You Anymore!' " and offers a free weekly marriage advice newsletter at www.KeepYourMarriage.com.

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