Rent Golf Balls -- True Advertising Case History From Hard-Boiled Ad Guy Stan Cotton

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Odd ball case history. In True Case Histories from the Files of Stan Cotton, Hard-boiled Ad Man, Stan Cotton discusses his client who had a new and improved golf ball, but the public wasn't buying any that didn't say Titleist or Top-Flite on the cover. The client find himself in the market with his better mousetrap and no marketing plan.

I'm Dr. Calvin, a plastics chemist

Hard-boiled Ad Man Stan Cotton preferred his new clients solvent and local as in Los Angeles. This one was broke and calling from Princeton, New Jersey.

The caller had balls, a warehouse full of them, it seems, but the public wasn't buying any golf balls that didn't say Titleist or Acushnet on the cover.            

Cotton listened through 3,000 miles of phone line and heard the oldest get-poor-fast story since once upon a time. Man builds a better mousetrap and creditors beat a path to his door while he's dicking around trying to figure out how to sell the damn things.

"I'm Dr. Calvin, a plastics chemist," said a voice thin and sick with desperation. "I've invented an indestructible golf ball and I can't sell them for love nor money."

"It'll take money," said Cotton. "Love I got."

Roxie, his secretary, brought him a warmed up cup of yesterday's coffee and cracked her gum irritably. She hadn't been paid in six weeks and she was out of Juicy Fruit.....

For a pre-publication gander at True Case Histories from the Files of Stan Cotton, Hard-boiled Ad Man, click here or go to for a pulp fiction treatment of an ad legend's crusade against the forces of timidity and marketplace myopia.

Says Cotton about putting his headline-generating ad campaigns of the 60s, 70s 80s and 90's into tough guy gumshoe lingo: "In looking back at a career that made me a fortune and got me thrown out of some pretty classy board rooms, I keep going back to a theme: clients want a brand new idea that's thoroughly proven. Many times I felt like a hard case private dick doing battle with mean cops and clueless clients."

So Cotton had a little fun taking the facts of his most outrageous "cases" and writing them up Mickey Spillane style. They read like a detective potboiler, all while dramatizing timeless truths that must be mastered for a client to triumph in the marketplace.

For your copy: Email Stan(at) Request: Rent-A-Ball case history.


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