Top 10 Tips for Hillary at 60 From Author of Humorous Book

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Hillary Clinton turns 60 on Friday, October 26. Here are 10 suggestions for her "life over 60" by the author of a humorous book for women over 60, "When I Grow Up I Want To Be 60."

There is nothing childish here…real-life experience shines through…the book is much smarter than most others of its slightness and ilk…it sings of the diversity among elder women - an excellent antidote to a culture that usually lumps us into an invisible sameness.

Hillary Clinton, US Senator from New York, turns 60 on Friday, October 26. Here are 10 suggestions for her "life over 60" by the author of a humorous book for women over 60, "When I Grow Up I Want To Be 60."

As millions of other baby boomers know, turning 60 is a milestone that is greeted with both relief ("consider the alternative") and disbelief ("I can't be 60! I feel 22!").

Women over 60 are in the most powerful decade of their lives, often simply by virtue of their life experiences (and the presumed accumulated wisdom) -- and the abiding hope that, indeed, "Nana knows best."

Power is not new to Hillary. But being a woman over 60 is. To ease the Democratic Presidential contender over any apprehension about her milestone birthday, Wendy Reid Crisp, author of "When I Grow Up I Want To Be 60" (Penguin/Perigee, New York) offers a guide for her seventh - and possibly most powerful - decade.

1.    Throw out the first ball of the major league baseball season - even if you throw like a girl. Once you're over 60, it is impressive if a pitch gets even close to home plate -- and failure would put to rest any steroid issues.

2.    Refuse to wear corsages. When the welcoming committee greets you with baby orchids, feign an allergy. "Mature" is the image we seek over 60 -- not "embalmed."

3.    The ornery confidence of a woman over 60 flaunts imperfections. In your case, I suggest singing. Yeah, we watched the video on YouTube where you were caught in an off-key version of the national anthem -- and we loved it.

4.    Get a dog. Not corgis - not only does the Queen have that breed locked in, but little, yappy dogs lend no dignity to a woman over 60. We recommend a border-collie mix from the pound (great photo op) with a name like Frank or Bob. Train him to herd sheep and take him with you to the county fairs.

5.    Avoid plastic rain scarves. It's not advisable to brave the weather a la William Henry Harrison (and die of pneumonia) but it's strange do so as a head of lettuce.

6.     Tears glistening on the cheeks of world leaders nourish our parched cynicism. But for heaven's sake, dear, wear waterproof mascara.

7.    Never tell a "real" joke - the kind where two guys and a llama walk into a bar. Men use linear humor to compete. We women, given plenty of time in the three-layer setup to ready our facial muscles for the fake laugh, can use the seemingly endless narrative time to plan our verbal ambush.

8.    Keep a diary, but lie. Why worry about how you will be viewed by history? Make it up.

9.     Refrain from introducing any body parts as topics of public interest. The President's polyps are not pleasant news to the populace, and when the President is a woman - it's a sexist reality -- medical details will elicit a long, national "Eww http://www."

10.    Make no effort to connect with women on an "I know what it's like" basis. If we wanted leaders, celebrities, mentors, or cultural icons who were just like us, there would be no soap operas, no Oprah, no Martha Stewart, no Princess Diana. I don't know how to get a bill through the U.S. Senate, and you don't know how to mark prices on baskets of artificial flowers for a yard sale.

"When I Grow Up I Want To Be 60" chooses a list of "S" words - as in "sixty" - that includes satisfied, soaring, slippery, swift, sensual, singing, silly, strong, scuba-diving, stoned, self-sufficient, significant, and defines them with short, true anecdotes by Wendy Reid Crisp. Crisp's stories are punctuated with quotes from other women - friends, colleagues, family members - also in their seventh decade. Reviewer Ronni Bennet (TimeGoesBy.net) said, "There is nothing childish here…real-life experience shines through…the book is much smarter than most others of its slightness and ilk…it sings of the diversity among elder women - an excellent antidote to a culture that usually lumps us into an invisible sameness."

Wendy Reid Crisp is the author of six books, including "100 Things I'm Not Going To Do Now That I'm Over 50," (Penguin/Perigee; 1994); "Do As I Say Not As I Did," (Penguin/Perigee; 1997); "From the Back Pew," (2003); and her new book, "When I Grow Up I Want To Be 60." A former magazine editor (Savvy) and spokesperson for professional women (11 years as national director of the National Association for Female Executives), she was awarded an honorary doctorate by Middlebury College in 1997 for her work on behalf of women and children. She lives with her husband, John Lestina, on the family farm in Ferndale, California.

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