Has America Already Become a "Kid Nation"?

The new television program "Kid Nation" is much more than the latest buzzed-about reality hit. It is in fact a symptom of an American culture that increasingly puts too much responsibility in the hands of its children, according to parenting consultant Todd Sarner.

Mill Valley, CA (PRWEB) September 20, 2007 -- The new television program "Kid Nation" is much more than the latest buzzed-about reality hit. It is in fact a symptom of an American culture that increasingly puts too much responsibility in the hands of its children, according to parenting consultant Todd Sarner.

Kid Nation picture

Children want to be good for those that they are attached to; it's just how they are designed to be.

Sarner says, "I tell parents all the time that we put too much emphasis on whether kids are getting along with each other and not enough on positive, loving connections between kids and the adults in their lives." His message is not that children should not have friends, but that kids cannot find what they really need from each other. "Children are, by definition, immature. I am not using that word judgmentally; it's just a developmental reality. The immature cannot teach the immature to be mature. Kids need to maintain strong relationships with their parents or other caretakers until they become their own person with the ability to make the right choices for their own well being."

According to Sarner, critics are correct to make the comparison between "Kid Nation" and William Goldings' classic novel, The Lord of the Flies. "What we read in that book was the story of what happened when a group of otherwise 'good kids' from a nice prep school were stranded on a remote island. They quickly break up into tribes and become primitive and even violent." Sarner believes that this is precisely the reality we are creating in America today. Kids are becoming more and more oriented towards their peers rather than adults and it is leading to a long list of problems- including violence, bullying, learning problems, drug use, and premature sexual activity. "We should all be looking for solutions to restore the ability of our nation's children to grow into healthy, happy, productive members of society, and instead, we are capitalizing on an alarming situation by making a reality TV show out of it," comments Sarner. "I find that to be very disturbing."

Sarner also takes issue with how the show reinforces the rewards-and-punishment approach to eliciting good behavior that he says is contributing to learning and behavior issues in our country. On each episode, one of the children receives a $20,000 'gold star' as a reward for what they contributed that week. According to Sarner, "The way to get kids to learn how to do the right thing is not to bribe them or to give them prizes. It might work at first, but eventually they just won't do anything without getting what they perceive as a big enough prize."

Sarner's advice to parents is that they understand how important their relationship is with their child and to act accordingly. "We live in a culture that devalues parenting and doesn't provide the support it once did to help parents do their jobs. Many parents are feeling overwhelmed and powerless. The key is to knowing, really knowing inside, that you are your child's best bet and that they need your unconditional love while navigating the ups-and-downs of childhood". He goes on to add that it is the strong connection to adults that leads to positive behavior. "Children want to be good for those that they are attached to; it's just how they are designed to be."

Todd Sarner, M.A.
Todd Sarner is a Parent Consultant & Educator who speaks regularly on the topics most important to today's moms and dads. The Co-Director of Transformative Parenting and a proud father himself, Todd teaches courses and workshops that help parents gain insight and confidence. He also consults with parents in-person and on the phone about their own families' specific challenges and needs. He has a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in San Francisco and has worked for several years as a counselor for children, teens, and adults. Todd has worked closely for several years with leading developmental psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld (Hold On to Your Kids) and serves on the faculty of the Neufeld Institute.

For more information, call Todd Sarner at (415)289-6515 or visit his website at www.transformativeparenting.com

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