Most dads aren't treated to anything very special on Fathers' Day because their day comes a little too soon after Mothers' Day in the calendar
Dallas, TX (PRWEB) June 10, 2008
Relationship Seminars, Inc. (RSI), believes that good fathers teach that love remains the same before and after special celebrations regardless of whether one gets special recognition or not.
"Most dads aren't treated to anything very special on Fathers' Day because their day comes a little too soon after Mothers' Day in the calendar," said Mark Rogers, Ph.D. and co-facilitator of the Relationship Rich Marriage Seminar. "Most families who have school-age kids have benefited from teachers helping kids get something created for Mothers' Day; but by Fathers' Day, the kids are out of school and not thinking much about cut-and-paste projects. Moms get something like a Valentine's Day special, but Dads get token gestures, as a rule. It's a rare family - and usually the mother's doing - that has a celebration for Dad that matches in extravagance and attention what came to Mom."
Dr. Rogers states that good fathers don't make a big deal out of the discrepancy. They handle it just fine, as a rule. And they can use the day as a means for teaching some important lessons, if they care to.
According to Dr. Rogers, they can teach "Thank you" as a simple grace. When given whatever does come their way, good fathers can express gratitude and simply recognize the caring behind it. They don't have to gush, and it's actually better if they don't. Kids who are exquisitely sensitive to such things know that they gave Mom a much better show, with more investment of time and energy and affection. And if Dad makes a to-do that matches Mom's gushing, they'll know he's faking it. He's pretending to be overwhelmed, when he's not. That's a way to teach hypocrisy, which good fathers know is no family value worth preserving.
Instead, they'll teach the grace of a simple "Thanks," appropriate but not excessive, that acknowledges the gift but doesn't weigh it down with more significance than it can carry. With simple gratitude, they teach kids that honesty matters at least as much as affection, and they give kids a chance to show some love straightforwardly, directly, without frills or fanciful language. Fathers know - and they can teach their kids - that love is not about the show.
They can also model how to love a mate. They can model how to love when you aren't lavished. The day after Fathers' Day is much like the day before, and that's how love is supposed to be. The good father knows his being a good husband depends as much on predictability and reliability as on expressiveness and emotion. He knows that love doesn't depend on mountaintops; it keeps moving on level ground, making forward progress by a steady pace and daily disciplines. Good fathers can model endurance and persistence and determination as expressions of love as valuable as affection, extravagance, and appreciation.
The good father teaches that love remains the same before and after special celebrations, that love continues regardless of whether it gets special recognition or not, that love doesn't depend on receiving gifts.
What good fathers can teach on Fathers' Day - when they don't get nearly the attention that Moms get on Mothers' Day and are just fine with that - is a powerful lesson about love as a gift you give, not a gift you expect to receive.
For additional information, contact Christie Lawrence or visit http://www.prweb.com.
About the Company & the author, Mark Rogers, Ph.D.:
Relationship Seminars, Inc. (RSI), a privately held company based in Dallas, TX, was founded by Dr. Phil McGraw in 1985. RSI owns and operates experience based relationship seminars designed to help individuals and couples learn the fundamental dynamics of how to create and sustain a relationship utilizing effective communication tools. Mark Rogers, Ph.D., is a relationship coach as well as co-facilitator for Relationship Rich Marriage Seminar which boasts an impressive 80% success rate at saving marriages in crisis. Mark directed a large counseling center and worked as a management consultant and executive coach in San Antonio, Texas, and he has counseled and coached over 3,500 couples throughout his practice. He is on the adjunct faculty of the business school and psychology department of the University of the Incarnate Word, teaching graduate and undergraduate classes online. He has a B.A. in English, and both a master's and a doctorate in counseling psychology.
Relationship Seminars, Inc.