how a person prepares for a relationship counseling session and how they conduct themselves in that session can make a big difference in how effective it is.
Los Angeles, CA (PRWEB) August 27, 2008
During an interview with talk show host Anne Evans currently playing on SaveYourRelationship.net, Marriage Counselor, Fred Talisman MFT said "marriage counseling with the wrong couples counselor can finalize the end of a relationship in crisis. You've probably known of couples that went to marriage counseling and wound up breaking up."
According to Fred Talisman MFT "it's possible that the wrong therapist can do a troubled relationship more harm than good and even contribute to a final breakup."
For over 30 years, licensed marriage and family counselor Fred Talisman has specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.
According to Talisman, author of "Save Your Relationship", "most relationships end unnecessarily and the breakup could have been prevented, especially if the couple had gone to the right kind of marriage counselor."
Pick A Counselor That's A "Relationship Saver" - Not A "Relationship Ender"
When a relationship is in crisis, it's in a very delicate state. Marriage counseling is not neutral. It can help make the relationship better. But if done incorrectly, it can push the relationship over the edge.
All relationship counselors have their biases.
Some therapists think that if a relationship isn't working, a person should get out. They'll tend to guide an individual or couple in that direction. Fred calls them "relationship enders."
In the interview, Talisman said "other counselors, believe that, with rare exception, an individual and/or couple should do everything possible to learn and master the skills to make their relationship work and thus to save their relationship and often their family unit. Those type of therapists are 'relationship savers.'
It's my experience, that for most relationships in crisis, when an individual or couple get the right kind of help and training and consistently practice those skills that they can actually not just stay together but can both thrive staying together."
Why finding and going to a marriage counselor is usually a critical element in convincing the leaving partner to give the relationship a last chance
According to Talisman, "usually, the person that has initiated the breakup has been trying to get their partner to go to relationship counseling with them. They have been put off or flatly told no. I've worked with some couples where the person that wants to end the relationship had been rejected by their partner for weeks, months and even years, in their efforts to get them both into couple counseling.
Initiating finding and going to a couples counselor as soon as possible demonstrates a person's willingness to be responsive to what the leaving partner has wanted. It can also help the leaving partner to get past one of their biggest objections to giving their mate a last chance, which is their concern that there's no reason to believe that anything will be different.
One of the primary reasons the leaving partner wanted to go to a relationship counselor in the first place is that they thought that it could help to make the relationship workable for them."
How To Get the Most Out of Working with a Relationship Therapist
According to Talisman, "how a person prepares for a relationship counseling session and how they conduct themselves in that session can make a big difference in how effective it is." He recommends that "each person be proactive in preparing for each session." He further suggests that "each person think about what they most want help with to improve in themselves, which would make the biggest difference in improving their relationship.
The couples that are the most proactive in planning for their marriage counseling sessions, and are the most proactive and consistent in practicing and mastering the skills they are taught by a 'relationship saving' therapist get the best results, by leaps and bounds."
To read Fred's in depth guidelines how to pick and find a relationship saving counselor go to http://saveyourrelationship.com/index3.
Fred Talisman MFT can be reached at 800 887-6464.
About Fred Talisman MFT
For over 32 years, licensed marriage and family counselor Fred Talisman has specialized in saving relationships that were on the verge of ending even when only one person still wanted the relationship to work and even when they had no hope that it could be saved.
Fred Talisman MFT